


I love you too much (to live without you loving me back)

by Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck, Saklani



Series: Tales of the Third Republic [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Break Up, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Hurt Poe Dameron, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28335513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck/pseuds/Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: General-In-Chief Poe Dameron and his aid Lieutenant Armitage Hux have been together now for a short while. Poe delivers some less than desired news to his friend and lover who takes it less than pleasantly.Regrets are had, and problems arise that with the help if Finn and Rey, they might just get through them.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Series: Tales of the Third Republic [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860931
Kudos: 19





	1. Tacenda (Things Left Unsaid)

**Hux** had never been so... _happy_ in his life, not even when he had made rank so many times and so quickly. He had been surprised at how readily the crew and others accepted Poe and his relationship, him not having wanted to announce anything but just kind of... _be_ them wherever. If anyone disagreed, no one dared say anything to either of them, and Hux was fine with that. They could keep their nasty thoughts to them selves.

He sighed, sitting in his office chair, the two of them having turned the side room connected to the main room into a office for himself. It worked that way, Hux got to keep himself undistracted while working (because Poe was very distracting to him at any given time.) and Poe didn’t get distracted by him either. It was hard for the first week to keep their hands off each other out in public, catching the eyes of others when they would get a bit too close in the halls. It was fine though, people knew and it was primarily Hux who was embarrassed by the PDA than anything.

He had finished everything for today, the primary work of theirs had been to catalog and document every single First Order detainee that had come aboard their ship. They had the space, the brigg was big enough to hold well over the amount of First Order Refugees who they had picked up, but it was _allot_ of work. Hux pushed away from his desk, making his way back into the larger shared quarters since he was done for the day. Poe had been out for a while, the council having called a few meetings that he was not given permission to attend along side the other man. It didn’t really hurt his feelings, honestly hating such things and being glad he didn’t have to go. He decided to make some tea for the two of them, knowing that Poe would be back any time soon and he wanted to be able to spend some time with the other man.

Sitting on the couch in the living room he waited, mind wandering as he drank his tea.

**Poe** entered in a steam of angry frustration, went straight to his lover, flopped beside him, carefully set aside the tea and kissed him fiercely. He pressed him down into the cushions with the kiss, taking all of his frustrations and translating them into passion for the ginger. By the time he pulled back, he felt better though he knew it might be a very temporary feeling. “Hello, my own,” he breathed into Armitage’s right ear and pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot just below

“How are you today? I missed you at the endless meetings. We would have benefitted from your expertise and point-of-view. Not to mention your brains.” He wanted to rut against Armitage and take him to bed, but knew this wasn’t the time (although he so desired it to be). “Someday, I am going to persuade them all to trust you and then things will be much easier. Their General-in-Chief is a better leader and a better man when his heart and right hand are with him. He kissed Armitage again, softer this time, full of love and tenderness to befit his words of before. He maneuvered so he was underneath the slighter man, wanting to feel him above him (and get a good grope in of his ass).

**Hux** was about to say something, his smile turning into a look of surprise as he was _assaulted_ (happily) under the tight kiss of Poe's lips. "mm!!" He fell back against the cushions, a laugh bubbling up from him as he moved to hold Poe, running a hand through the man's hair as he pulled back. His smile was deep as he watched the man rant before pulling Hux up and over on top of him. "well...hello to you too." He chuckled, place his hands on Poe's chest as he felt the grip on his ass. "You do fine I'm sure." He leaned down and placed a kiss on Poe's lips, Tea forgotten. "I'm sure my coaching has done wonders for you while your on your own."

**“Yes,** I do find myself using your tricks fairly frequently,” Poe said. “And all the time today.” He frowned and sighed at the same time, eyes closing against the difficult conversation coming. “They were really something today, Armitage. Like bad.” He rubbed a hand over his forehead and sighed. “Let me get my shower and then we can talk about it? I- you’re going to be angry, and I need a little bit of a break before I can deal with that.”

**Hux's** smile fell quickly, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. "o...okay.." He mumbled and scooted back till he was on the couch and not on Poe's lap. He didn't like the sound of this, not knowing what the topic pertained to either. He had been told there were meetings today on the future of the Third Republic as a whole after the war was over (which it was technically now that the bulk of the First Order was gone.) But otherwise he wasn't privy to the details. Only Poe was. If Poe already knew it would make him angry, it would either be something involving himself, Poe or the Order refugees. He kept his mouth shut however, letting Poe get up as he stayed on the couch. He could already feel a swell of anxiety welling up inside him, every possibility of what could be wrong starting to trickle in from smallest problem to biggest.

**“I won’t** be long,” Poe promised, seeing the worry and fear already on Armitage’s face. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and then hurried to get out of his uniform, shower, out on some relaxed clothes and order a light dinner for them both in their quarters. He usually preferred to go out to the Mess with Armitage and show their support of each other, but tonight was not the night. He came back out, hair still damp and messy. Kneeling beside Hux on the couch, he rested his he’d briefly on his right knee, before lifting it to hold Armitage’s gaze.

“Today, the newly elected Senate announced that they were uncertain there were sufficient funds for the proposed program to deprogram all of the First Order personnel who fell under the definitions spelled out in the proposal. They want to cut out a large number and essentially maroon them on uncolonized planets with just enough resources for survivalist living but nothing more. Another group, mainly officers, they propose for imprisonment, with a subset to be executed for war crimes.”

He took a deep breath. “This is only an early proposal, Armitage, and there’s a lot of movement against it, at least a lot of it. But I’m not sure we can prevent all of what they’re proposing from coming to pass. I’ve arranged a meeting of our likeminded allies to discuss the proposal and formulate strategies to combat it. I will include you, of course. But we must be prepared for the possibility that we won’t be able to change their minds about everything…or everyone.”

**Hux** let his hand set down on Poe's head for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting him talk. He felt like ice had been thrown down his back, his heart beating fast and his mind racing at what Poe was saying. Not only were they thinking of abandoning these people, but potentially _executing_ them too? Hux wasn't a stranger to doing bad things...and if anything _he_ was the one who would take responsibility. He had come to realize that most the people in the Order who were not directly in contact with the higherups, or the processes of things, were just people trying to survive. Most of them had families on other planets, homes and lives they lived on their off time.

The troopers who still lived were taken from their parents as babies, unable to make their decisions for themselves and become who they wanted. Hux and Poe had a few lengthy discussions on this topic, Hux coming to the realization that he too had been conditioned into this life, taken from his own mother too. Hux had the opportunity to become different, but he never knew anything else existed outside of his life. The troopers and the officers were the same.

His lips were turned down, eyes keeping on Poe's as he spoke and staying silent for a few moments as he finished. "They...They just want to _kill_ them all." His voice cracked a bit, emotion welling in the back of his throat. "All these people who..." He closed his eyes turning his head as he put a hand to his face to try and calm down. It wasn't Poe's fault. It wasn't Poe's fault. "Did you tell them how _wrong_ they are?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "How they are doing _exactly_ the same sort of thing that....that I had thought I had been fighting against?" He needed to walk, to _move_. Hux gently pushed Poe back as he stood on his knees, moving from the couch as he began to pace. "This isn't right!" His voice raised a bit. "Those people....those people _surrendered_."

**“I know** , Armitage,” Poe said, watching his lover pace with worried eyes. He knew this news would upset him, but the extent of his upset exceeded even Poe’s prediction. “And of course I did. Especially about the executions. We can’t build a new government, a good one, by being inhumane. I won’t be part of that. It’s not what I fought for, what I agreed to serve. You know I’ll stick to my commitments and beliefs. I won’t stand by and let them kill anybody.” He remained on his knees so as not to further agitate Armitage.

“There is a lot of bitterness over the Hosnian System,” Poe said softly. “A lot of people lost family and friends. Your service to the Resistance helped forgive you, but there were many others involved. We’ll have to try and work people through that anger, that desire for revenge.” He sighed. “And then there’s the question of funds. A lot of places are struggling economically and others need to be rebuilt from the ground up. We need to make the case that this rehabilitation will help with the economy and the building of the Third Republic, as well as being the right thing to do. And you’re the best one to help with that. We have all of the available data about money and the economy and everything else at our fingertips.” He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes against the threatening headache. “Like I said, we have time, and we’ll have help.”

**Hux** took a shaky breath, still pacing as he occasionally looked over at Poe as he spoke. He only stopped walking when Poe finished, turning to face him as he crossed his arms defensively. "Your the kriffing _General In Chief_! Isn't there something more you can do?" He could feel a small bit of mania cropping up in his mind, knowing Poe wasn't at fault for this, but not being able to stop his own fear and worries from coming out first. "If they want something to blame for Hosnian Prime, _blame me_. I'm the one who did it. I'm the one who planned that fucking weapon out!" His voice was getting raised, arms shaking lightly.

"But _none_ of those people were involved! I would _know_ I read every single one of their files and none of their duty stations would have ever had them _touching_ Starkiller Base!." He was breathing hard, turning back to pacing again. "They are treating them like _trash_! They are worth more than their fucking funds they are so worried about spending." He uncrossed his arms, walking closer before pacing again. "They just want to throw them under the rock like none of this ever happened and move along!" Tears were welling in the corners of his eyes.

**Poe** practiced the deep breaths Rey and Finn had helped him learn and counted backward as Armitage counseled, before slowly rising to his feet. He moved to intercept his lover, unable to watch him continue to pace like a trapped loth-wolf. He raised a hand out to him, wanting to touch, but waiting for permission. “Everything I can, love. Everything my position offers. Except one thing…you. I’m not giving you to anyone. You’re repaying your crimes, began before we won. You don’t owe more than that. Please…calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I’ve got the proposal they wrote up. Read it all and see what they’re actually proposing. This speculation is just upsetting you. And then you can help formulate our plans for pushing back right? This kind of problem is when you shine. Please, baby, you’re not going to be able to help if you’re just angry. We need the focused Hux, the one who can engineer his way out of problems.”

**Hux's** face didn't relax at all, if anything it seemed to get harder in his anger. "That's three thousand, seven hundred and twenty two people Poe!. That doesn't include the other seven thousand various troopers and officers still imprisoned from the other ships!" One hand went to his chest. "I'm just _one_. They matter more!" His lip quivered slightly but he steeled his face again. "Do _not_ tell me to calm down." That was practically _growled_ , the attempt at easy his fears only serving to worsen his mood.

"Fuck their proposal. I don't need to see it to know it will be full of bullshit reasons why they can't allow _First Order_ soldiers to infiltrate their precious communities!" Hux didn't even want to hear it, the idea that he barely had any say in the matter made the creeping anxiety of what could possibly even _be_ on their proposal hard to think about. He didn't think he would be able to read the first paragraph let alone the whole thing. "Believe me Poe...I am _focused_." His angry expression returned to Poe, his pacing stopped as he stood a few feet away.

"I am focused on my men. The ones who _I_ commanded for _years_ who will now be _cast aside_ like refuse no better to be looked at than scum!" His hand shook as he ran a hand through his hair, knowing deep down that he was blowing up for no reason but he couldn't pull that part of him up. Too scared of what could happen to be calm and collected. "I wont allow it." He said softly. "I wont." He fisted his hands. "I have no ability to sway them because of who I am. My word will mean _nothing_ to them." His voice was shaky as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "They will listen to you Poe...You need to convince them otherwise..." He took a deep shaking breath. "Or I will figure out a way to get every single one of them out of here."

**Poe** straightened himself and raised his chin to face down Hux with his own strength of purpose. “Lieutenant Hux, you will come to attention,” he barked. “Go take a run around the track. Run until you can’t run anymore. And then you can return and go to bed. Your bed.” He gestured to the other room, the one Hux hadn’t used in weeks. His voice softened an iota. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow. I hope you can be less emotional about it then. You can’t help me and you can’t help them like this.” His voice hardened again.

“That’s an order, Lieutenant. I’ll send D-0 to make sure you do what I’ve said. Am I understood?” Outside, he was hard as durasteel, every inch the General he was supposed to be. Inside, he trembled with upset, doubled now by Armitage’s lashing out. What his lover had threatened was mutiny, desertion, punishable by death. He knew Armitage was afraid and hurting, but he couldn’t let this go on. “And you will speak of this to nobody without my permission. This is Top Secret for now. You know because you are my aide…and my guide. But it goes no further than this room.” He repeated the question, “Am I understood?”

**Hux** took a step back, his eyes widened by a fraction at the _command_. Poe hadn't commanded anything of him in.... _weeks_ , and the change in subject only solidified his anger, coming to the conclusion that Poe wasn't as...passionate about the subject as him. His mouth snapped closed, his eyes glittering with unshed tears as Poe berated him. He breathed hard, his hands still curled into fists as he was practically vibrating with anger...and hurt.

Poe had just kicked him out....essentially, his mind reeling on that one fact over and over and over. He was quiet for a few moments, his mind taking in all the things Poe had just said to him. Sure, he could say nothing to anyone. He wouldn't _talk_ to anyone anyway. He had no friends, no confidants other than Poe.....and Poe had just made it _very_ clear where Hux stood right now in that regard.

"I understand..... _sir_." He bit out, turning on his heals almost quick enough to fall over if he hadn't already started walking away towards the shared door. He wished these doors would slam, disappearing into the other room to pace for a few angry moments before begrudgingly put on his sweat pants. He would run. He would run till he passed out from pain and see how Poe liked _that_. Hux had never been so angry in his life, even when he was dealing with Ren's tantrums or his entire life's work being decimated in front of him.

People steered clear of him in the halls, the anger evident on his face as he walked briskly towards the gym. He didn't know why he was entertaining this _order_ , his mind set on saving his own people as he ruminated on the outcome of their lives. He barely got two laps down before he had to stop, disappearing into the locker rooms to shut himself in a private shower stall. He cried hard, silently as he could as everything he felt he had gained came crashing down on him in one moment. His chest burned and his leg shook in pain, sitting alone as he hyperventilated on the floor. Why couldn't that bastard have just yet him _die_. Nothing had come of this, and the people Poe desperately hoped to accept him would _never_ do so...going as far as to abandon and destroy thousands of people out of revenge.

He didn't want to go back just yet, a few hours passing by as he sat in the same stall, staring ahead of himself as his mind felt blank. He knew he should read the proposal as it was stupid of him to assume, but he would do that later, to emotionally numb to get himself to do anything but think about much of nothing. It wasn't until late into the shift when he finally hoisted himself up and off the ground, his face still red from crying as he washed it as much as he could. It took him longer than normal to get back to the room, entering the small quarters without even taking his workout clothing off before laying on top of the still made sheets that he hadn't used in weeks. That only pushed him to cry once more, face into his pillow as he slept alone once again. Hux hated himself, always figuring out a way to ruin something good....something wonderful.

**For** his part, Poe mustered all his internal resources after the insanely crappy day and headed for his work station. He did have a distinct advantage over Armitage, other support. He called Finn and Rey and gave them the low down, all the way through his ordering Armitage to go run off his anger and hurt. He knew he’d hurt his lover even more, but Armitage had been spiraling out of control, threatening desertion, and for the first time, Poe had to pull rank and duty over love and companionship. He’d done it, and in the moment, he knew he’d do it again, but it hurt so much he felt the pain in every part of his body. But he forced himself on, as he had after the First Order had tortured him (and hadn’t it been funny, to hear Armitage say that the Third Republic considered the form First Order personnel scum, when that’s the very word he’d used for people like Poe when he’d been the General of the First Order? Yeah, so funny he wanted to scream.).

He asked Rey, who liked Armitage (and had the empathy of a saint) to act as Armitage’s friend and support in this time. He would need someone outside of Poe, especially now that he’d angered him. Finn, he knew, would be the prop he needed when he needed it.

And then he did marshal his resources as General-in-Chief and hero of the Resistance, the heir of Leia Skywalker Organa-Solo, calling Senators, Generals, highly placed civilians and others he could think of to ask them to a meeting to discuss the new Senate proposal. (He’d really only asked Armitage not to discuss it for fear that the man might blow up at some poor officer and set them all back another step.) If in between calls he needed a few moments to himself to just emote and then rebuild for the next call, well, nobody needed to know.

He was up so late he heard Armitage return to the next room and through the damn internal door they’d never bothered to fix, he heard him cry. And that ended any productivity for Poe, as he buried his face in his hands and just wept, too, keeping as silent as possible. Eventually, he dragged himself up, finally took off his uniform and called for a droid to take the dinner they’d never touched. The shower eased some of the aches of his body, but when he got out…his bed was completely unappetizing. It was big and lonely, without even a fur ball to warm it. So, chucking his pride and being Poe and not General-in-Chief Dameron, he went to knock on the other door, the inner one. “Armitage?”

**Hux** had been staring at the wall across from him where he lay in the bed, his body boneless as his mind replayed the conversation over and over in his head, too tired to continue being upset. He knew he messed up, his mind having not let him calm as he had spiraled out of control in a fit of anger and fear. He didn't know how to take it back though, not that he wasn't dead serious about wanting to keep his former crew and soldiers safe....but he wouldn't ever think of leaving Poe.

That thought brought forth the next one that....he might have already caused that. What little time they had already been together might have been their only time because Hux had once again messed up so bad he destroyed any chances of a good thing. The knock on the door startled him, his body jumping slightly as his gaze moved over to the door. He didn't want to talk to Poe, regardless of how much he already missed him and already wanted to apologize. Poe must have been angry...to threaten such a thing as he had...but he called him by his first name...not by his rank. He said nothing at first, knowing Poe would be standing there for a while as Hux worked up the courage to let him in or.....stay silent.

Hux grabbed his blanket as he pulled it up and over himself, not wanting Poe to see him so disheveled and still clothed in his workout gear if he did end up inviting him in. It also saved him from having to look at him too, keeping it up and over his head as he sulked like a child. He took a deep breath, willing himself to speak but....he couldn't. His voice catching in his throat as he laid there. Maybe Poe would think he fell asleep....or maybe he would know he was ignoring him. Either way, Hux couldn't face him yet....not right now. He knew the next day would be rough, never having done well with confrontation that he had been on the loosing end of. He did loose, lost allot in his moment of anger. And now? Poe had to deal with that too. Poe was too good for him.....Poe deserved better.

**Poe** tried calling two more times, before he finally gave up, feeling like a fool. But he’d felt this bad before, after Crait, after all of his fuck-ups that had let so many of his fellow Resistance fighters be killed. He did now what he’d done then, went to the best comfort available to him…an X-Wing. He kitted himself in his oldest clothes and went to find an X-Wing to tool with. The pilots greeted him enthusiastically (especially since their shift were the youngest and most eager to meet the hero of the Resistance). He soon found a place working on one of the older ships, tuning her up and fixing some of her nagging problems. The work soothed him and allowed him to drift into the familiar, where he could pretend he was just some dumb space jockey again and not the head of a huge military organization.

But his mind churned over the problems of both the Senate’s proposal and his relationship with Armitage, even as his hands and body were lulled to sleepiness. He’d been burned, as was always possible, by his somewhat unprofessional relationship with his aide. But the thought of giving up Armitage…he’d rather give up piloting another ship. (He dropped a spanner on his toe at that realization and added insult to injury.). He’d have to find a way, any way, to make it up to his lover and make sure the Senate didn’t do an injustice to the surrendered First Order personnel. And if he finally fell asleep curled in the pilot’s seat of an out-of-commission A-wing, well nobody but the ghost of his mother needed to know.


	2. Katumus (Guilt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt builds up in Hux at letting his emotions get the best of him, but he is too late to express that.

Hux was exhausted. He barely got any sleep that night, crying silent dry tears as he heard Poe call for him two more times. He had begrudgingly gotten himself up in the morning, having woken up regardless of his lack of alarm (which was still in the other room.) He took breakfast in one of the smaller galleys on the ship, not wanting to chance running into Poe in public before they even had a chance to talk yet. He knew he was being petty...or maybe childish would be a better term for it as he didn't know how to act right now, never having been in this situation before. Rey had come to him, obviously looking for him when she found him in the galley. Poe had sent her which was obvious but he wouldn't have said anything rude to her anyway. She had been nothing but nice to him so far in all this. They talked a bit, mostly about how he was doing, her work, his work and subtly dropping hints that she was there for him if he wanted to talk and even more subtle hints that Poe was feeling shitty about this too. He knew he was feeling shitty, Hux had caused it. He ate his food as slow as he could before finally having to bite the bullet and go back to the office, opting to use the front door instead of the shared door. He walked in, his chest tight as he didn't know what he would be walking into, his heart hurting over the tension he was creating.

Poe looked up as Hux finally came in and said softly, “Good morning Lieutenant. I hope you got more sleep than I did. Your caf is waiting.” He folded his hands over his desk. “You have a few hours of work to finish up for me and then I’m reassigning you for the duration. I need you focused on this Senate proposal and our counter to it. Lieutenant Commander Kaydel will take over your normal duties for that time.” He closed his eyes and let out a low sigh. “I’ve been sending communications to all our possible allies on this matter. I’ve gotten mostly positive responses. I’ve been sending copies of the proposal to all of them for comment. As they come in, I’ll get them all to you. I want you to develop the overall response to the proposal, factoring in the comments and information provided by our allies as relevant. Ultimately, we’ll get together not only votes in the Senate for this proposal, but letters from important figures about why they support what we’re putting forth. That will help sway more votes to our side.” He chuckled, but it was a sad, weak sound. “I’m sure you know all about this. Far more than I do. That’s why I need you focused. Is there anything you need to help? I’ll be giving you your own office with an ensign to help you with all the paperwork. You can work the hours you need. All your normal duties, including the hours, are suspended.”

Hux had not been prepared for the coherent and well put together plan that Poe had already seemed to have concocted. Standing there just inside the door stiff as Poe explained the new plan to him. He couldn’t tell whether Poe was getting rid of him, or giving him space. Either could be true as Hux had been pretty angry, taking out his frustrations on the other man. He nodded at certain moments, taking in all the information but processing things just a bit slower that day. Poe had given him free reign of this project, his own space and assistant in order to concoct his own rebuttal to the (no doubt horrid.) proposal the council had written previously. Not only that, but he was gathering signatures and letters of those who would support the indoctrination of the First Order defectors into the Third Republic. He cleared his throat when Poe finished speaking, eyes glancing away as he collected his thoughts to give the man a reply. “That....sounds as though you have taken care of what I will need already.” His voice was scratchy still, knowing it would be obvious but there was nothing he could do about it, hot tea only having taken away a portion of it. He didn’t understand how Poe wasn’t angry with him....or at least outwardly angry at him. The last time he had ever encountered someone able to set aside their feelings for their work had been Rae Slaon, leaning only slightly from her about it. He had just pushed emotions to the side so much that he never had a reason to bury them. “I think, that will be all I need to create a rebuttal.” HIs chest was tight with hurt, feeling a rift between them. Over the last few weeks Poe hadn’t called him by his rank even during working hours, but now? He was back to Lieutenant.

“Good. Good. I’m glad. If you think of anything else or something comes up, I’ll work to get you whatever it is,” Poe promised. “This means a lot for the future of the Third Republic, as well a to both of us. I don’t want to end up like General Organa…Leia, having fought so hard for something only to see it crumble under the weight of a thousand mistakes.” Poe stood, feeling a million years old, burdened by the role he’d been handed in her absence. “Aren’t you going to come in? We do have some things to finish before you can start on the proposal. I know you’re eager to get to that, but I want to make sure we have a clean slate with everything else before you move to your new office. Once you’re working on that, I won’t let anyone disturb you until you’re done. We’ve got at least three weeks for a draft rebuttal.’ He poured himself some caf from the tray over in the corner of his office and doctored it heavily, before taking a sip. “Are you okay, Armitage?” he asked softly, s he faced the other way. “I am sorry for how things happened yesterday.”

  


Hux took a quiet deep breath as he walked in further, going to the small desk that had been set up for him inside the office. He would finish what he needed to, then be off, not knowing what else sticking around would do for him other than make everything awkward and not getting anything done. He sat down and watched Poe walk to his caff station, a heavy feeling in his gut when Poe asked him if he was okay. "I'm fine." He steeled his voice, no emotion leaking out as he looked down at the last few bits of work that needed to be done. "There is nothing to be sorry for. The council is the one who made their decision and I will just have to pursued them that their decisions are incorrect." It felt wrong, sitting here in Poe's presence without having gone up and hugged him, or kissing him first. Amabelle hadn't even come out to see him either, hiding away from the two of them. She had never seen Hux yell before and.... he probably scared her. That put another mark of sadness on him, knowing he had upset the only creature in his life that could do no wrong. "I'll get this done. Then I will read over their proposal and begin my rebuttal. This shouldn't take me long." He cleared his throat as he kept his eyes off Poe, not knowing what the man had planned for the day.

  


Poe winced further at the rebuff of his attempt to apologize and nodded once, slowly. He sucked in a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Alright. You know how to reach me if you need anything.” He walked back to his station and took a heavy seat. The words on the console blurred- doubling, trebling- until he wiped over the moisture in his eyes and forced himself to concentrate on the scree. “Given we won’t be working together for some time,” he said softly. “Would you like to move your quarters? We never did anything about that inner door…

  


Hux stiffened, the suggestion to move back into his own quarters felt....it felt horrid. Poe _was_ pushing him out wasn't he? He had fucked up bad. Bad enough that Poe was suggesting he move back into his own room. Hux nodded curtly, his lips pulled into thin lines. "Yes....that makes sense. Less distraction and more time to get what i need to get done." He took shallow breaths to simulate a calm exterior, typing away as he finished the work as fast as possible.

  


“There are a range of quarters available,” Poe said, forcing his own voice to be calm and steady. “I’ll put in an order for something larger and near your new office. Amabelle may be a bit upset, but I’m sure she’ll get used to it again. I can help move her things…if you’ll allow me.” He resisted the urge to beg (or bang his head into the table). “And as long as you’re moving, I’m going to ask to move, too. I don’t think I could stand those quarters without you. And I never had needed anything so extravagant.”

  


A lump was forming in Hux's throat, it took him a few moments of willing it away before he spoke. "Amabelle can stay in here. She needs attention and I wont be able to give that to her till I'm done." He finally looked up, then over to the room. "there is no reason to move. The quarters I have are acceptable. I can make my way to the office just fine." Hux hoped that leaving Amabelle with Poe would help, he didn't want to outright admit that he knew he had fucked up but maybe the peace offering of letting Poe have something comforting with him would help. Help Poe know he wasn't abandoning him....not like he said he would. Hux knew that his final comment last night had been what angered Poe, knowing it sounded like he was leaving the man. But, he did care about his old crew, the people he had helped command.

“So, you don’t want new quarters?” Poe asked, confused. “You’re okay with us continuing to share the adjoining quarters… did you want the door removed now? Or covered over?” He cleared his throat of the obstructing lump. “And I wouldn’t ask for you to leave Amabelle with me…she’s happier with you. She’s your kitten. Always has been. I gave her to you.” His last work cracked straight in half, like he was a teenager with a changing voice.  
“Kriff,” he muttered and buried his head in his hands for a long moment. “I hate this.”

  


Hux closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he rubbed a hand over the bridge of his nose. "I'm fine. Nothing needs to change. Your keeping Amabelle because I wont be able to care for her at the moment." He looked back up and off to the side, his shoulders slumping. "I just......I just need time to work...alright?" He looked over at Poe slowly, his chest hurting at how...distant they were right now.

  


“Everything has already changed,” Poe said. “I hated this when the Senate proposed it, and I hate it still, but I had hoped it might be another place where you and I could fight together, band together and be stronger for it. Instead-“ He took a deep breath and released it in a low, long sigh. “Instead, you make me feel like I’m the one advocating to kill a bunch of people…like I’m not with you on this. You threatened to desert, Armitage.” He groaned and shook his head.

  
“I’ll take care of Amabelle if you insist. I love her, too…”

  


Hux stood up suddenly, his hands on the desk. "I never said that." He kept his voice calm, his voice cracking. "I never said you were advocating that." He closed his eyes and looked off to the side. "I got angry okay....I'm sorry." He mumbled, his lip trembling. "I'm not going to desert....I don't want to leave I just-..." He took a deep breath in. "I just want them to be safe... and...." He took another deep breath as he stood up straight, running a hand through his hair. "I have allot of work to do....I still need to read their proposal and it's going to take me a while to fix this..." He looked defeated, hurt and upset, but he didn't know how to reach out to Poe. "She will be better off with you for the moment. I just need time to work.."

Poe turned in a flowing motion and took three steps forward, desperately wanting to throw his arms around Armitage in a hug, but came to a halt at the stiff and unwelcoming body language from the other man. His hands rolled into fists by his side as he forced himself still. “I want them safe, too. And I want you safe, too. And with me.” He dropped his eyes and his hands uncoiled. “I’m sorry, too. For whatever that’s worth.”  
He squared his shoulders again, knowing he’d get nothing done while Armitage remained. His voice was firm, but kind,”You’re dismissed, Lieutenant Hux. I’ll finish whatever you have left. Your new office assignment is on your duty roster and your assistant should already be there. Thank you.”

  


Hux had hoped Poe would hug him, dispel the growing tension between them but that didn’t happen. Poe stopped just in front of him, pulling his professional posture back out. Hux didn’t know what this meant for them, the two of them. Poe words, held a desire to stay together, but his tone left no room for argument. He nodded, looking off to the side as he took a deep breath. “Yes sir.” His voice came out but a whisper as he turned away, making a break for the door. His chest hurt so bad, a combination of shallow breathing and something deeper in his heart. He wanted to turn right back around, tell Poe he was sorry and he never meant it and that he wanted help but...his feet kept walking as he made his way back out of the door, it shutting behind him. He found his office quickly, the poor Ensign they had assigned him was meek, giving Hux room to give in a bit to his inner irritations and push him around a bit with clipped words and harsh tones. He knew it was wrong, but he had no desire to stop himself as he sat silently at his new desk reading the proposal. It took him a few hours to work through just the first half of it, finally having told himself to put his own feelings on the back burner as thousands of lives were on his shoulders. The second half went by quicker, his mind sharper than it had been earlier that day as he made himself focus, taking notes on what was and wasn’t desired in the proposal. The whole thing was a mess, a quickly written piece on dumping thousands of people on some random backwater planet with little to no supplies. It made his blood boil, even the Order had taken care to leave those they had ascertained troops from and recourses with more supplies than this.

  


He began immediately, typing away as he jotted down the first draft of his rebuttal until he could no longer see straight, eyes unable to focus on the screen. It was late when he finally walked his way back to his quarters, once again deciding to strip the bare minimum from his body as he laid onto the bed, falling asleep within seconds.

Poe also threw himself into his tasks, glad he had something pivotal to focus on, since his always worked best in an emergency, and this qualified. His private life would have to be set aside for the moment, which was for the best, given how things were between them in the moment. Still, he cursed himself for not giving Armitage the hug when he got a message from Lando requesting his presence at some top secret meetings with likeminded folks, some of whom wanted to be out of the spotlight for the moment, against the Senate proposal. (Poe had a sneaking suspicion some of these folks might be former First Order wanting to give themselves up, which would also explain why they requested he leave Lieutenant Hux behind. He agreed to the meetings and worked with Kaydel to make all necessary arrangements to leave on the morrow, including arranging transportation (he would fly himself, along with a staff officer to take notes), restructuring command for while he was away, and many other tedious details. (He was grateful Kaydel was almost as good at these things as Armitage.) He also staggered in late to their rooms, but went straight to the inner door and knocked three times, each one calling for his lover. (Still his lover?). After the third time with no response, he put together a comm for him, detailing why he’d gone, for how long, that he regretted not getting to speak to Armitage (and he used the name throughout and deliberately) before going, that Amabelle would need him after all and ended with how much he loved Armitage. By the time Armitage would get up and read the message, Poe would already be several hours into his journey. They had a long way to go to this Outer Rim planet, somewhere beyond the former Cloud City.

When morning came, Hux had gone through his morning hygiene steps slowly that next morning, a odd feeling having come over him when he woke as if he had messed up once again yesterday. He didn’t bother to check in on Poe, making his way straight to his office to get ready to work on his rebuttal first thing. He noticed a comm message, the only one in his inbox as Poe had Kaydel redirect everything to her for the time being. His heart sank when he read it, seeing how liberally Poe used his name in a official message and how disappointed he sounded. Hux sent his assistant out to get him caff, needing a moment to collect himself as he realized he was alone. He hadn’t been alone since Poe had left to fight, at least having him on the ship didn’t feel this bad. He let himself have a few moments, knowing that he couldn’t even send a message to the man, him being to far out of range for his comm capabilities, not having access to those sorts of comm frequencies. He pushed himself to calm down before the assistant came back, thanking them and letting them know he would comm them if needed. His work struggled, his mind only on Poe and his whereabouts. Was he okay? Was he going to come back? Did he hate Hux now? Had Hux pushed him away?

Towards the end of the day Hux decided he needed an update, dismissing his assistant for the day and made off to the halls. He decided he would find Finn, seek out the man he had yet to do so with. It would be uncomfortable, but he _needed_ to know.

Finn found being a General in the new Third Republic was amazingly smoother than expected. He’d always shown leadership abilities as a Stormtrooper, just that his mind and conscious rebelled against the actions of the Order. What he did find difficult was accepting members of the Order’s officer corps into the military, starting with General Hux. (He’d never had a pleasant experience with the man when he’d been a General, certainly.) But he was trying, primarily because Poe (amazing, stupid Poe) had not only befriended the man, but fallen in love with him. He’d hated the misery Poe had exuded the past days since the Senate’s proposal to do away with or exile a large portion of the surrendered Order personnel. The break between himself and Hux hurt Poe in ways Finn didn’t even understand, but wanted to help fix regardless. So, he threw his full support into combating the proposal and gave Poe a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on. It was the least he could do for his first friend. And now, as he saw Hux…Lieutenant Hux approaching him on the Bridge, he reckoned he could throw him a little support, as well. “Lieutenant,” he greeted. “I hope your new office and aide are working out.” (He could hardly believe the proper military blather he heard himself say half the time. When had he gotten so proper?)

Hux had never expected to go _searching_ for Finn...or _General_ Finn as he reprimanded his mind into saying. The idea that a once traitor had become so prolific in the military he had fought so hard to take down. But, that was the past, and this was now. He saw Finn catch his eye, his stance was always a bit _meeker_ now a days, Hux still not feeling as comfortable or as free to be open as he had before in the Order. He stood at ease in the General's presence, the urge to be rude was still there, but he held it back. "Yes General, they are adequate for the purposes." His eye twitched a bit but he took a deep breath. This was his place now, this was his life and as much as he and Poe were at odds right now he wouldn't go ruining anything for the other man with a shitty attitude. He let the breath go, his shoulders relaxing. "I had hoped to speak to you about P-....General Dameron, I....only received his message this morning and I had not realized he was...on an away mission." His words got more and more strained, but he swallowed the lump growing in his throat before continuing. "Do you....know when he is due back?"

“It was a rather sudden mission,” Finn said evenly. “One the General felt he could not refuse. An opportunity…about the Senate’s new proposal. He’s supposed to be gone for a few days. I know he planned to send you a message about all of this…he was upset he didn’t have a chance to tell you in person.” His expression hardened a little at Hux. “He looked like bantha droppings when he got into his ship this morning. Like he hasn’t slept in weeks when it’s only been a couple of days.” He signed and looked around them to make sure nobody was in hearing distance. “You know the idiot really loves you, right? The idea that this could drive you apart is killing him. And he doesn’t know what to do about it except try and give you space and fight back against this proposal. If you asked him to, he’d probably defect with you if they don’t change course.” He snorted and said wryly, “Rey and I would, too, most likely. It’s not like we’re in favor of this…especially since it resembles First Order policy. Your policies.”

Hux nodded, at the factual parts of what Finn said, his eyes going from Finn to occasionally scan the Bridge. He figured Poe would have been okay not seeing him before he left....with all the anger he had been feeling and...practically kicking him out? There was a conflict of feelings there. Maybe Hux had been the one to read the situation wrong? It wouldn't be the first time he had read a room wrong, or a specific emotion for that matter, love and affection not being his strong suit either. Finn leaning into him caught him off guard, his shoulders stiffening again as the other man's voice lowered in a private tone. He was shocked, Finn telling him what he did. Did Poe still love him? Had he gotten all of this wrong and been blind to the whole situation? Yes.....yes he had been. What surprised him the most however was Finns own admission. They would defect from their republic because of....the treatment of the First Order personnel? Surely he was jesting. He blushed hard at the accusation, as correct as it was he still understood how wrong it was (At least now. Poe had opened Hux up to a way of life, a knowledge of humanity and Empathy.) He grit his teeth, not angry with Finn. "I....I didn't. I was _angry_...." Hux closed his eyes and took a calming deep breath.

"I...took it out on him and I know that was wrong..." "...can he receive messages?.....would you be able to send something to him for me?" He looked back at Finn, a hopeful look on his face. He would reduce himself to begging if Finn denied the request...at this point he just wanted to let Poe know he was sorry.

Fin shrugged and said, “As far as I know, he should be getting his messages. Not sure how much time he’ll have to read them, but I bet you he’d read and response to one from you above even the most important business. And if you can let him know you still love him, which it sounds like you do, he’ll find a way to finish his business faster and break all speed records to get back here, if I know him.” He studied the thin ginger in front of him and said, “Poe’s special. All that crazy light and care for everyone. He’s not built for the role they’ve put him in. A General’s got to be invested, but also detached. Poe feels for every person we lose in battle. It hurts him. But you-“ Finn shook his head “-you got into his heart and made him glow. Don’t know how, but I guess I do want to learn.”

  
He extended a hand to Hux and said, “Lieutenant Hux, my name’s General Finn. It’s a pleasure to get to work with you.”

  


Hux couldn't help the heavy blush that came over his cheeks, shifting on his feet at the embarrassment of it all. Finn knew Poe for allot longer than he had, the idea of Poe loving so many people wasn't really a upsetting in the fact that Poe had also dedicated a very particular type of love to _him_. Finn's words only seemed to make a feeling of pain grow in his heart, knowing that he had hurt Poe as badly as he had. Hux blinked a few times as Finn out stretched his hand, offering what appeared to be forgiveness, or at least a truce. He looked from the hand, then back up to Finn with an odd expression on his face, something a mix of surprise, confusion and pain. "I......." He took a deep breath as he reached out, taking the offered hand and gripped it tightly with his own. He took another deep breath as their hands shook a few times, a hope of friendship growing in his heart. "Likewise...." He pushed the smallest of smiles on his face, knowing how hard it must be for Finn to have done something like this.

Finn shook firmly, but with friendly intent. “Good. We all need to work together to make the Republic this time. And you’re about as perfect the choice for that as possible. You know all of the methods of the First Order and have reason now to want the Third Republic to work. We can’t do this if both sides can’t agree and live together.” Finn nodded toward the view screen. “We’re going to sit here as long as Poe is away. Did he tell you generally where he was going? The Outer Rim. Makes everyone nervous to have him out there. But it was the condition of the meeting. The people he’s meeting with...they’re skittish. So, we’re staying here until he returns.”

Hux couldn't tell if he was proud or astonished by who Finn had become, the other man held his position well within this military. He couldn't help but think what would have happened if they would have promoted Finn when his leadership skills had begun showing. They order and Hux himself might have ended up in a very different place than now. He wasn't upset by that fact either he found, the idea that he wouldn't have ever met Poe the only thing that really stuck with him. "The Outer Rim? He does know how dangerous it is for a smaller ship does he not?..." He sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Never mind... rhetorical question...of course he knows..." He sighed deeply, nodding. "thank you for telling me...I must get some rest before I start back on the proposal rebuttal. I will send a message your way if you can get it to him for me....." He frowned, standing a bit straighter. "I...don't have that sort of messaging permissions....they are strictly ship wide."

Finn frowned and said, “Send your message to me, and I’ll make sure it gets to him with a clear notification of who it’s from. I’ll also see about letting you send and receive messages from Poe. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that and there won’t be too much pushback. We can say it’s so you can talk to your boss while he’s away. It wouldn’t be too big a lie.” He aimed a little smile at Hux, which broadened into a chuckle. “And you do know Poe used to be a spice runner, right? He knows Outer Rim worlds very well. And all of their dangers. He’s still the best pilot there is…you tell him that, right? Sometimes, I think he believes we doubt his abilities now. Lie he got demoted to General-in-Chief because he’s not as good a pilot anymore.”

  


Hux had _not_ known that Poe had ran spice before, a frown setting in his features. He pushed it aside, the fact not really anything serious or worth noting as he was the man he was now and that's all that mattered. "Yes. I have before on numerous occasions." He stood a bit straighter. "Not only did I get to see his skills more recently but I do recall the many times he outwitted the First Order pilots, even some of the best we had to offer." He nodded curtly, pulling a bit more professionalism back into himself. "Thank you General, I would appreciate the ability to send and receive messages at will....good day." He saluted as he turned on his heels, the idea of staying longer in the bridge surrounded by those who wants till disliked him make him uneasy. Not only that, but with Poe off the ship it meant that those who would be so daring might actually make a move on their hatred for him. It would be best if he just stayed to himself before Poe got back, working on his proposal. Hux made way to his quarters, stripping down for a shower before getting into something comfortable. At first he tried to sleep in his own bed as he had been the last two nights, but he just couldn't sleep. He ended up making his way back into Poe's room, crawling under the neatly made sheets on Poe's side as he put his face into the pillow, breathing deaply. He was flooded with emotion, the sorrow from the other day coming back hard as he realized how stupid he had been, how hurtful and Poe wasn't even there for him to apologise to for it. Eventually he fell asleep, curled up under the blankets as he would be for the next few days after work.


	3. Temer (Dread)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux get's bad news on Poe's well being.

Three days beyond the originally scheduled timeline, Poe finally emerged, tired but triumphant, from his secret meetings with Lando’s contacts (including several former First Order officers, all of them looking worse for wear and almost amusingly terrified at meeting the General-in-Chief of the Third Republic’s military, how the worm had turned). They had formulated some additional strategies for combatting the Senate’s current proposal (which had unsurprisingly leaked and further spooked former First Order officers), including the surrender of some of the remaining First Order personnel and handing over of literal tons of equipment and supplies. Added to the rebuttal he knew Armitage would have done by his return, Poe felt more confident that they could persuade the majority of the Senate to do the right thing. But all he wanted now was to return to Armitage and to hold the man in his arms again , kiss him senseless and the him to bed. They’d exchanged a few messages during Poe’s time away, each apologizing and expressing their feelings for each other (though Poe more fervently and openly than Armitage), which both soothed his worries and escalated his need to be back with his lover. He owed Finn, too, for allowing Armitage access to send messages to Poe and hoped that indicated a thawing of his friend for his lover. He sent a comm to Finn and Rey now, indicating he was on his way back and should be there in a little over half a day’s time. Then he fired up the engines, made sure his co-pilot was strapped in and ready, and took off with a little whoop of excitement to be heading back home. Except…he didn’t make it. Some six hours passed Poe’s scheduled time to return, Finn showed up at the door to Hux’s office, looking worn and pale. “Lieuten-....Hux, Poe’s been taken.”

Over the few days alone by himself in his office, Hux had made good progress on the Proposal. The piece was almost finished (though it was actually written to completion, Hux just had to go through and make sure all his statements were correct and exactly as he wanted them) and he was certain he could hand it over to Poe the moment he stepped food back on the ship with them. He had been rewording a phrase when he heard his office door slide open, looking up to see Finn at his door, looking non less than spooked. _Poe's been taken._ The words rang in his ears but he didn't hear them, his face blank with confusion. "what?" His hands stopped on the keys, parsing that phrase in his mind. "What!?" He stood up quickly, face going pale as he moved out from behind the desk. "T-taken? What do you mean? By who? Where? How long have you known!?" His voice grew more and more panicked as he spoke.

“Breathe, Lieutenant,” Finn ordered. “We just got word now from Lando. He went looking as soon as Poe was overdue to check in. He found the wreckage of Poe’s ship. There was signs of sabotage, which means that someone at the meeting or with access to the meeting site is responsible. Unfortunately-“ he ducked his head and sighed “-there were some former First Order officers included, so suspicion is going to fall naturally on them. I’ll send you the names Lando just sent me. See if any of them stand out to you.” He shook his head as if to get his brain straight again. “There were signs of a scuffle in the wreckage. You know Poe, he got the ship down to a nearby planet safe. But his co-pilot was killed and there’s evidence Poe was injured in the fight. But he was taken alive. We expect whoever did this to demand a ransom or something else soon.” Or to torture or execute him publicly, but Finn didn’t want to say that. “We’re headed for the crash site now to start our search. I’d like your participation, not that I think I need to ask. Your expertise, plus the drive I know you’ll feel about this…I trust you more than anyone.”

Hux took calculated breaths as he listened to Finn, the details making his heart sink further and further. Wreckage. injured. And the unspoken words he no doubt knew Finn didn't say for Hux's own sanity. He nodded quickly grabbing his comm. "I would have stowed away if not invited." He said quickly. "Let's go, if this is truly a hostage situation every minute counts." He spoke in an even tone, forcing himself to be calm in the face of this tragedy. Hux had broken down once, allowed his anger and fear to get the best of him which I'm his mind put them in the position theyw were in now. If Hux would have stayed calm, talked it through and not blown up....maybe Poe wouldn't have ever needed to go galivanting off into the Outer Rim. He ushered Finn out the door "I'll read over the crew list of the meeting on the way there." He took a deep breath, a neutral look on his face as it was the only way to keep his panic inside. He would do this for Poe, stay calm and do what needed to be done.

They were a good two hours into their hyper jump when a communication came through and General Bartu (a longtime member of the Republic’s military) appeared on holographic form. “General Finn,” he said, blue face grim and drawn, “we have just gotten this broadcast, which is sending to all frequencies. We’re trying to locate the source and reduce or stop the bandwidth…” He pressed a few buttons and his image was replaced by- Poe, hung by his arms from a series of interlocking chains so his feet just brushed the floor. His uniform was stripped off and various bruises already decorated his golden skin. He was gagged, but not blindfolded (which terrified Finn), and trying to fight the two hooded and masked figures grappling him. One of them held an electric razor, which he applied to the lovely curls on Poe’s head, shaving them off in series of messy moves that cut skin as often as hair. But they didn’t stop there, going for every inch of hair on Poe’s body, including the curls on his groin. This at last made Poe freeze and stop struggling, as the potentially dangerous blades approached his manhood.

Long before that, Finn had transferred the image to a private screen, so only he, Rey and Hux could see their friend (and General-in-Chief) being humiliated and hurt. He knew others on the Bridge crew were doing their best to also localize the source of the broadcast and snuff it, but Finn feared they wouldn’t be able to keep his friend’s torture from being seen by millions of eyes. He forced himself to watch without flinching away, no matter how desperately he wanted to avert his gaze or just turn the damn thing off. He only realized he was wheezing in torment when the men finished their task, released Poe and the image turned off and Finn pulled in a full breath of air. The apologetic and sober face of General Bartu reappeared. “We’ll do everything we can to help track down the ones who would do this, General Finn. We’re sending all the information on the transmission we have now to you. Bartu out.” The image vanished. “Poe,” Finn gasped once, so only Rey and Hux could hear, anguish and fear in that one word.

Hux had finished the list of possible suspects out of those who had met up with Poe, his hands tight at his sides as he paced the ships command cabin. They had been flying for a few hours now, his chest tight as he imagined what might be happening to Poe. Was he dead already? Were they torturing him for information? Had this been because of him? He closed his eyes as he stopped, noticing Rey looking at him with a look of understanding from her spot next to Finn. The holo from General Bartu took them all by surprise, not having expected any notifications. He moved closer to the holo, his legs stopping when Poe’s image pulled up in front of everyone. His eyes widened, the image of Poe hanging from the chains....the pain he displayed and the.... _humiliation_ that was being projected into the holo. He felt his body go cold, his vision narrowing in on Poe's form as he watched the men debasing his leader, his friend and his.....lover. He didn’t breath, burning every frame of the image into his mind as he watched. All he could hear was the struggling sounds of Poe over the cabin, no one speaking or making a noise. He didn’t realize he wasn’t breathing until the image disappeared, the strangled sound of Finn’s voice cutting through the silence. Rey stood there, her eyes watering as she held a hand over her mouth, lips trembling as she watched he friend go through....such tortures. Pain was one thing and could be handled to a point but humiliation, debasement....that was something that _lasted_ beyond healing flesh. The cabin exploded in sound as the crew started assist with the location of broadcast. Hux took in a deep breath, his legs feeling like jello as he took a few steps back, finding a console to brace against as he caught his breath.

He was going to kill them. He was going to kill every...single...one of those people on that ship. He was staring ahead of himself, trying to catch his breath as he began to hyperventilate. He needed to get ahold of himself.... _especially_ now. Now was for Poe, every second waisted was a second Poe could be home sooner. Rey was standing close to him, speaking something but he couldn’t hear her words. He made a dismissive gesture as he stumbled his way over to a console, pushing the poor officer out as he sat down. Not many knew it, but Hux was _very_ good with codes and computers, robots and machinery. He would find Poe, and he would save him, and he would _destroy_ those who took him.

Finn watched Hux go and turned to Rey, reaching for her to pull into a hug. He hoped he gave her some strength and courage, even as he took some from her presence. “Can you feel him?” he asked her softly. “Is he in pain?”  
There was nothing he could do, except let them fly on and the experts search for Poe. He wasn’t skilled in the computer line the same way others on the crew were, and he couldn’t make the ship go faster. “I don’t think I can stand this if they’re really hurting him, Rey.” He looked over the Hux, hunched over a console. “And how’s he holding up? Poe will never forgive us if we don’t look after him.”

Rey watched Hux leave, seeing the calm on his face but the raging storm surrounding him. She let Finn pull her close, resting her head on his shoulder as she took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s there...but.....He is going to be okay alright?” She smiled sadly, burying her face against Finn. “We are going to get here, and we are going to save him.” She knew this wouldn’t be the happy ending they would want, swooping in to save their friend and bring him home to have everything go back to normal. This would damage the man, and luckily they were bringing the one person who might be able to put him back together. Hux clicked away, pulling up the original feed that had been broadcasted to them as he attempted to ignore the image on the screen. There was always a way to trace a feed, the coding in the file always had a ping location from the nearest satellite stations from where the feed was located. He put in the destination of the crash, searching for the same satellite location that would match the holo in order to find a starting point. Even if he found it, that would only narrow their search down to the closest star systems, maybe limiting them down to a hundred or so light years in any direction of the satellite. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. He wished he had the mind to work on this while the feed had still been going as he would have had the ability to have the access to the secondary ping location that came before this one. As upsetting and angering as the thought made him, he almost wished they would broadcast again.

Finn was about respond when the comm pinged with another message. Fear in his throat and chest, he stepped forward to turn it on and relaxed a little at the sight of Lando Calrissian’s careworn and upset face. “General,” he greeted him with great respect. “General Finn, we saw the transmission. We cut it off as best we could from here, but…” He trailed off, anger in his face. “By process of elimination, we’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that Poe’s co-pilot, Lieutenant Commander Jenner Ross Bego, was the one who sabotaged the ship. One of our own. He’s the only one who had the time, capacity and lack of supervision to have done so. Whoever killed him probably did it to throw us off and cover their tracks. We’re talking about treason now, General Finn. You’re going to need to watch out for yourselves.” Finn sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“The only thing worse than the First Order personnel being responsible for this is one of our own being responsible for this.” “Well, one of the New Republic military, anyway,” Lando agreed. “Bego was no Resistance member.” “His contacts are our next line of pursuit then. Lieutenant Hux,” he called to the other man. We’ve got something for you.”

Hux had been so ingrained into what he was doing he barely heard Finn call to him, his jaw set tight as he looked over. Rey explained what Finn and her had just heard, going over the details they had also been sent. Hux was...for a better lack of words _pissed_. Not only had Poe put everything in his power to try and help the Third Republic...the Resistance and the galaxy, but he had gone out of his way to try and ensure the safety and proper relocation of those who had slighted him all because he was a _good person_. And here Hux was, chasing him down to find out that it was the very people who claimed to want to change the galaxy and do right by them hurting one of their own. Hux shook his head, he had to remember that each group had their own outliers, those who would disagree and do different. Those who had remembered the old Empire in the First Order were the same. Hux nodded giving Rey a small thank you as he began to narrow down his search. The access to the systems he had now gave him more freedom of information (regardless of the fact that if he had really _wanted_ to, he could have given himself access by the many times Poe had left his comm on) to search through the databases. He found something, with searching for Bego he connected him back to his prior command which was very suddenly changed once Poe had taken over command after Leia’s death. General Caluan Ematt, old member of the Republic back in the day. Bego had previously been stationed under him before the transfer after Poe took his position, the transfer listed as High Priority Classified in the systems. Not only did Ematt have a history of speaking out against Leia and her choices, but he had actively voted _against_ Poe being given the position.

That had to be it. That had to be the one. Hux stood up looking at Finn not caring what anyone else was doing at the moment. “General Caluan Ematt. That’s who has him. He transferred Bego after Poe was advanced and actively voted against it from the very beginning.” He was calm looking, but he was pale and breathing shallowly with a visible pulse against his neck giving away his current stress levels.

Finn had signed off with Lando and he and Rey had left Hux alone after giving him the intel, seeing the crazed look in his eyes and knowing he needed to expend that energy tracking own Poe and whoever did this to him. They were better off keeping out of the way and doing what they could on their end. He’d been busy with all kinds of messages and un-shocked by how many unsolicited missives of support and worry for Poe came in. He may be unconventional, but General-in-Chief Dameron inspired loyalty and fondness in those he led. The sheer anger of the troops at someone daring to harm him in this way weighed upon Finn’s Force-consciousness. (Hux’s anger could power a small ship.) They were a few minutes from coming out of hyperspace when Hux spoke again. Finn noted how all eyes tracked to the ginger and the stiffness of everyone’s shoulders when he announced his suspect. He gestured the other man closer to speak in private. “I remember Poe mentioning Ematt,” he said when it was just the three of them again.

“Leia had a difficult time with him. Loyal to the Republic, but a stickler for rules and regulations. The kind of man who objected to the Rebellion and the Resistance on principle of their being outlaw organizations, despite their aims to take down the Empire and the Order.” He shook his head. “Still, he’s a longtime military man, and we’ll need proof before we can accuse him of anything. Not to mention…we need to find Poe.” “Coming out of hyperspace, General Finn,” the helmsman announced. “Understood,” he called back, before lowering his voice to Hux and Rey again. “Lieutenant, do you want to go down the wreck site and see what you can find there or stay aboard and try to track down Ematt and his movements?”

Hux felt all eyes on him, his own gaze looking around him too see how uncomfortable the crew was with his accusations. He didn't really care what they thought, the clues led him to that assumption and he was going to stick with it. He walked over to Finn when he gestured him over, knowing this would be difficult for Finn to justify. The word of one man, dare say the most hated in the First Order against the good image of another. Hux stood there stiff, his jaw clenched as he listened. He knew how politics worked and he needed no chiding on how hard it would be to accuse with no proof. "It leads back to him, it's the only connection I can make." He said, teeth grit but not yelling. "But yes. We need to find Poe and then I will _take every single one of them down to their knees_." The last part came out as a growl, a hint of General Hux shining from under those softened cracks. "I want to go. If I can find any previous transmissions I can potentially locate the source. Especially if it was a direct transmission."

“Then you’ll go,” Finn assured him. “Rey will go with you and pilot the shuttle. I’ll keep watch here, along with Kaydel. They’re the only people, aside from you, that I trust fully about this. If you really believe a military man is responsible for this, we’ll need to keep track of any unauthorized communications from this ship. You’d know best what alternative channels are available from a Star Destroyer, Lieutenant. Lando is also meeting us directly. I’ll be glad for his eyes and ears, too. There’s a few other former Resistance members on the crew. We’ll need to quietly gather them as a core team we can trust.” He put a hand on Hux’s left shoulder, lightly so as to not upset the other man further. “We’re all angry, but revenge is not always the best way. We need to make sure we get intelligence on anyone in the military who feels the same way about Resistance members and be willing to act the same way.” He patted once. “You need to get on better clothes for a trip planet-side. Go change and meet Rey in Hanger 4 in 20 minutes.”

Hux was shaking lightly under Finn's grip, nodding only to keep his mouth shut. He didn't trust himself not to get upset again and freak out. He pulled himself away and walked off, going to change into something less restrictive before returning to Rey, the two of them waiting in the hanger bay as the rest of the small crew boarded the transport ship. It was a tense ride, Hux's mind going a mile a minute as he calculated possibilities in his head on Poe's condition and then finding the location of where he was being held. He didn't often second guess himself, but internally he was cursing his rustiness at in depth computer work, having done papers and desk jobs for years now loosing his touch. Rey gave him a sympathetic look, a hand on his shoulder as she comforted him with hopeful words. She was muhc better than he was at staying hopeful, hux thought, knowing that she may have been doing it for his own sake. When they landed near the crash site, hux wasted no time getting over there, reaching it before the others before he had to wait for them anyway. "I need access to all transmissions from this ship. I can search for the ping locations of my comm."

Lieutenant Tak-Lak, a young Ishi Tib who had served in the Resistance, said, “I can help you, Sir, if I may. Getting back the General, that is all I desire, as well.” She did not quite understand the relationship between the former First Order General and her commanding officer, but she respected and cared about General Dameron enough to trust that he had good reasons for their closeness.

She stepped up to him and saluted. “I served with General Dameron for all my time with the Resistance and am honored to serve under his command now. I am skilled with computers, Sir. Please, allow me to help.”

Hux was taken off guard by the officer, Tak-Lak her sudden desire to help him made him feel warm in his chest. Hux had gotten used to dealing with non-humans more and more throughout his time as Poe's aid and as a member of the Third Republic, but he rarely talked directly to anyone outside of Poe, Finn and Rey. He nodded, pulling his mouth closed as he stood straighter. "Of course. General Dameron needs all the help he can get right now." He turned to Rey, her nodding at his decision to allow her to join them. The crew let them pass, the interior of the ship was severely damaged but most of the pilots cabin was intact. "Lieutenant Tak-Lak...we need to locate the Transmission logs, pinpoint anything incoming and outgoing from the time they left, to when they landed here." He kneeled down under the console, seeing if he could find any out of regulation changes to the ship board transmitters. "Anything that might seem suspicious such as Coordinates and timing of arrivals."

“I will see what I can find,” Lieutenant Tak-Lak said and went to one of the less damaged consoles, leaving the other to Hux. She knew his drive to find the General would be the strongest, as his skills were the best. Her own searches were proving somewhat fruitless, though. “There is evidence of tampering with the logs. I am not skilled enough to break retrieve them. I am sending my evidence to you. Perhaps you will be able to find what has been erased.”

Hux looked over from where he kneeled, frowning at the less thank good news. He nodded, pushing back and stood up from the other console. “It’s okay, take over for me on this console and ill see if i can find the data and you keep searching over here.” He knew he needed to stay calm, every second they wasted was a second they were further away from finding Poe. He received the information Lieutenant Tak-Lak had sent him, beginning to go through the information. Rey could be seen off to the side, she had taken a meditative position to attempt her own investigation. She could feel Finn, still up space on the ship, the soldiers and officers around her including Hux in all his burning energy, and the remnants of those who had been there not long ago.

The Lieutenant moved to the other console with a nod to Rey and said, “I will do my best.” She found the flight log information Hux hd been tracing and went into the details, seeing if there was anything informative in the logs. She pieced together, following Hux’s lead the times the ship’s engines had been engaged, noting there were multiple times during the meetings General Dameron attended that the ship powered up without going anywhere. These times she noted down with the logs as back-up. They were always when the meetings were in progress and few, if any, people would be around to notice anyone to the X-Wing. This further confirmed that the co-pilot was indeed the traitor. But that just added to the known case without bringing new information. She made a soft noise of frustration. “I’ve found more proof about the traitor, but no luck with anything further so far,” she said.

Hux growled at the information, setting his comm in his lap heavily as he ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. He quickly apologized, not meaning to sound that way to the other Lieutenant. “There has to be something...” He mumbled, having had no luck reassembling the corrupted transmission data. The traitor probably hadn’t been all that well versed in code or computers, but the crash had further corrupted the data beyond what he could have repaired. He put his face in his hands, taking in a few calculated breaths before speaking. “I...don’t know what to do..” He mumbled, talking to no one in particular but loud enough for both Rey and the Lieutenant. Rey finally opened her eyes, taking a deep breath as she pushed herself off the ground and walked over to the two. “We _will_ find Poe....I’m sure of it..” She placed a hand on Hux’s shoulder, knowing her reassurance might not actually reach the logical man.


	4. Alivio (relief)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and the others find a lead that brings them right to Poe.

They didn't find Poe that day, nor the next, or the following after that. The team had scoured the ship to it's bones and Hux, Lieutenant Tak-Lak and many other confidants on board with General Finn had worked tirelessly night and day. But nothing came. Rey had relegated herself outside, meditating for hours on end before she would need to get food or sleep. Hux had barely slept, constantly working on _something_ in order to not feel useless. He had already broken down a few times to Rey, the two of them staying outside of prying ears before they came back to once again try and find their beloved friend. It was midday at the crash sight, the mood of the crew on the ground was well below what would be called depressive and with every negative comm they received from Finn it felt like a physical blow to them all. Currently, Hux was staring at his comm, the lines of code and strings of text blurring together in his vision as he stared at the same things he had been for days now. His body was tired, eyes red and mind numb.

Finn was in little better state, having no new information and fearing the worst for his friend. And then the next transmission started. He instantly contacted Hux and Rey, even while he kept the transmission where only he could see it on the Bridge. He also flicked on the tracking and blocking program Hux had devised for just this eventuality. When Poe’s appeared, Finn’s mouth went dry and his fists clenched in helpless fury and pain. They may not have been broadcasting their further abuse, but they were still hurting Poe. His face was battered and swollen, one eye shut. His sides were covered in livid bruises of all colors and sizes. There were a few obvious burns, as well. This time was no better than the first, as two hooded figures hauled Poe out and chained him by his wrists again. They used electric prods that were illegal in the Republic (but well used in the Order) to shock his sides and groin over and over again, until his screams wore out to a low whimper with each new prod. They only stopped when it was clear Poe was unconscious from the lean against the chains. And then they undid him hands and let him fall to the floor with a thud. “I’ll let Hux have you all,” Finn hissed at the viewscreen. “See how you like that.”

Rey had received the transmission, running to Hux and the small crew on the ground. They had currently been eating, Tak-Lak having pushed Hux to eat _something_ while they were at a loss, knowing the man needed to keep up food intake. They had watched, Hux staring blankly at the holo recording as he watched Poe dissolve further and further. Hux felt sick, the screams that came from Poe only echoed in his mind as he remembered how he had stood by and watched as Ren had tortured him only just a year ago. He was going to need so much help if they found him. If they didn't get to him in time?....Hux didn't know what he would do. When the holo ended, Hux got up from his chair, stumbling over to rest his hand on the side of the wrecked ship, the contents of his stomach coming back up after having only just eaten. He cleared his throat as he looked back, Rey walking over to him to give him a hand. "Tell me Finn started the tracing program." He spoke, voice heavy with emotion. "We are searching now Hux...." She smiled sadly, her own eyes glassy. "Let's get back" She took a deep breath and steadied herself, her own hands shaking as the crew made their way back into the transport, quickly descending from the crash as they made their way back to the ship.

Finn signaled as they made their way back to the ship. “Hux’s programs worked. We blocked transmission and got a lock on the signal. We’re ready to follow it as soon as you’re aboard. We have medical teams standing by, along with a large shuttle prepared, for as soon as we know where we’re going and how long it will be. Lieutenant Hux, Rey, we’re going to find him and the bastards who did this to him.” He didn’t add, “And we’ll make them pay,” but he thought they both understood that anyway.

  
He waited, nearly vibrating, by his console, as they made the trip back and docked. As soon as they were safely aboard, he said, “Follow the signal trace as fast as we can go without losing it,” and watched as the viewscreen showed the stars blurring into motion. “We’re coming, Poe. Hold on.”

Hux was pacing, his body was vibrating with energy regardless of the fact that he had barely any sleep. They were going to get Poe, they had found him and they were going to _save_ him. He had begged Rey to give him a blaster, something to defend himself just in case when they went to retrieve Poe, which eventually she did. He knew that Rey alone would probably be able to take out whatever forces were pushed their way, a force user and all. While he waited he made his way around the ship, making sure medical was on standby and if they had everything they would need for every wound he had seen Poe suffer. He eventually ended his pacing and rounds in the fighter bay, unable to stay away from there too long just in case they arrived at any moment.

Finn’s voice sounded over the ship’s comms. “All pilots made ready your ships. We will be dropping out of hyperspace in ten minutes. We’ve got a lock on where Poe is being kept…” Finn made a low, disbelieving laugh of anger. “Dantooine. They’ve got him in the remains of the first Rebel base.” “Rey, Lieutenant Hux, you know the plan.” Dive in first, as fast as they could, and hopefully, break in before anyone realized there was an attack and tried to dispose of Poe. It was Finn’s worst nightmare, frankly, that they would track down the location of his friend, only to have him killed just as they got there to save him. “You are authorized to do whatever it takes to get the General back alive,” he added, old he could grant that because he doubted (knew) neither Rey or Hux would be in any mood to show mercy. “May the Force be with you.” He thumbed off the comm and watched the viewscreen trying not to count the seconds aloud. Seven minutes away. Five. Two. One. “Coming out of hyperspace in five…four…three…two…one…now!”

  


The fighter bay was alive with noise, X-Wings on standby for for after Rey and Hux had made their dive and got into the base. If they found Poe alive, they would get him and the X-wings would reign hell down upon them after they made their escape. If they didn't find Poe alive.....well, They would still reign hell down on the base anyway. Hux was never a pilot, never had been and he hoped he would have had a chance to take those lessons with Poe but... He strapped himself down in the copilots seat, Rey having had the X-Wing fired up before the call came to head out. She sped out of the bay, crew around inside the bay cheering for their success.

"Hux...Like I said before earlier I will need you to guide us in....I know you are smart enough to fly this thing at least to the ground while I cloak our presence alright?" She shot the ginger a bright smile as she guided them through Dantooine's atmosphere. "Once we are in the atmosphere....take the wheel." Hux nodded nervously, taking a deep breath as he turned back to the Co-pilots flight sticks. He knew next to nothing about piloting but he _would_ do this for Poe. He still remembered the basic layout of the controls from when Poe had given him the X-wing manual back when they had hoped to have some lessons, but all he needed to do right now was focus. The X-wing stopped shaking as they made their way into atmo, Hux's hands gripping the flight stick tightly as Rey nodded and pulled up the coordinates of the base as she took a deep breath and rested back against the seat.

Hux's legs were shaking as he flew, the stick only occasionally pulling against him as they made their way closer and closer to the base. He could see it as they got closer, his heart racing as he hoped Rey's force distraction was good enough to get them through. He hit the landing gear button, knowing it was going to be a bumpy ride as they skidded down over the grassy planes, jostling the two inside before they skid to a halt, the base only a few hundred meters away from where they landed. It wasn't as hard for Rey to cloak just the two of them instead of an entire ship as they made their way closer to the base, running across the planes till they got to an entryway. There was surprisingly not many outside, a guard off in the distance but no more that they could see. Rey opened the door as they two of them slipped inside....making their way inwards.

The first shriek of an alarm woke Poe from fractured sleep and back into the nightmare of reality. He didn’t move as the warnings went off, too weak bu this point to do much more than internally cheer at the idea that someone was going to deal with the people who’d taken him. He wasn’t even sure who they were, seeing only people in nondescript uniforms wearing hoods in his whole time here. He’d heard what seemed a familiar voice at one point, but his brain was so muddled by now, he couldn’t be sure anymore. All he really knew was pain and exhaustion, thread through with thirst and hunger. He closed his eyes again and hoped that this would be the end of this experience, one way or another.

  
The clang of the door opening didn’t stir him, but the rough arms that hauled him up made him groan in pain, voice too weak for the scream he really wanted to make as they jostled his broken left leg. He made no effort to help or hinder the pair that dragged him along, a dead weight against them both. What was left of his consciousness did enjoy the fear in their voices, understanding that they had been found by the Third Republic (and hopefully a very angry Hux, Finn and Rey). They dumped him none too gently in a hallway and left him in a heap for several minutes, before returning, actions even more urgent. There were other sounds now, engines and blasters and running feet. “We’ll never get him to the ship in time. Just blast him here,” one of the two said. “Ematt won’t thank us for getting rid of his bargaining chip,” the other argued back. “We need this garbage to live.” Poe hissed as a rough boot from that speaker nudged him in bruised ribs.” “No,” the other said. “He’s just weighing us down.” Poe heard the draw of a blaster, the sound of it powering up. He closed his eyes and waited. (He’d been here before.)

  


Another body hit the ground in front of them as they ran through the dark halls, most of the hallways having been unused for decades. Rey breathed hard, her saber at her side as she checked to the side to make sure Hux was still doing okay, his face set into a hard determined look. His blaster was still warm at the end, his chest heaving slightly as they had been running pretty constantly, but he wouldn’t let that get in his way. “Do you sense him?” He looked over to the Jedi, her eyes closing as she took a deep breath. She could feel many in the building, Hux, those who seemed to be scattering as the sounds of alarms blasted, the base shaking lightly as more X-wings had descended, shooting down those who would dare to leave the base and escape. She felt it, a warm glow in the force, it was weak...but it was there. Her eyes snapped open “Let’s go” She moved quickly, Hux following on her trail just as fast as they made their way down. At one of their next turns Hux almost faulted, his eyes zeroing in on the prone form of Poe on the ground, a blaster aimed at his head. Rey didn’t even have enough time to react before Hux’s hands were lifted, blaster shooting as the bolt hit the hand of the man holding it, the blaster (and half of the man’s hand) falling to the ground in a heap at the floor. He breathed hard, eyes full of nothing but fury. Rey reacted finally, her hand going out as the other man shot back, hitting the wall behind him.

Poe flinched at the sound of a blaster, but for a second time in his life, death did not come for him, but for the ones trying to deal it to him. And for the second time, his savor was the same, though he knew it now without even seeing him. “Armitage.” He struggled to sit up, pushing his back against the wall to try and give himself some leverage. “Armitage,” he whispered again, wanting to shout, but lacking the voice. He couldn’t even get himself upright, sliding down again as his body refused to cooperate. But he landed so he could see rescue coming through his own good eye- Armitage and Rey. His breath hitched in a sob of relief and joy and pain and tiredness. He was saved. He was going to get out of here. (Everything hurt so much, and how terrible he must look right now, naked, bald everywhere, beaten, bloody and starved.) But still, he reached out with one arm to them in welcome and repeated, “Armitage,” with and added “Rey,” for effect.

  


Hux ran as fast as he could, seeing Poe struggling on the ground as he practically slid to a stop next to Poe. "Don't move, just rest okay? Finn has a squad on the exterior taking out anyone who dares leave." He looked back to Rey as she came up beside him, kneeling down to put a hand on Poe's head. Hux wanted to pull him close, to wrap him in his arms and never leave him out of his sight again but he knew at this moment he needed to get Poe back to safety, to medical help. "Rey and I are going to get you back to the transport alright?" Rey had sent a signal back to Finn to send down the medical transport, a simple ping of the comm before. Rey pressed her palm to the side of Poe's head as she took his consciousness, knowing how badly it would hurt to move him if he was awake. Hux had been leary at first on the decision to do so, but he had agreed she was correct in pain management. Slowly the two of them lifting Poe off the ground, his weight was an issue but with Hux's height and Rey's force they held him between the two of them. The urge to go and find the man who had organized all this and destroy him was still heavy in Hux's heart, but he knew that was secondary to Poe's needs. It was slow, but the process of carrying him down the halls, passing bodies of those who had tried to kill them was easier and less heart wrenching then them trying to find Poe. They had gotten lucky that those two men had been stupid enough to move him. When they came to the exterior door there was still fighting going on, but the medical transport was slowly descending near the outpost.

  


Poe tried not to be too big a burden to them, but couldn’t even keep his head up during the trip. Now that he was saved, everything was starting to dim around his senses again. He tried to keep alert through their trip to the exit, knowing they could be attacked at any time. But when he saw the medical transport, his head slumped forward in relief. “Thank you,” he murmured as they approached the ship, where Dr. Kalonia and several nurses were disembarking and running toward them with a hovercart. “Saved me.”

  
He reached out toward Armitage, but winced as pain lanced through his ribs. “Armitage. Come with me?” he asked. “Thought I’d never see you again.” The medical team arrived, and Dr. Kalonia said, “Please place him on the cart, gently.” She was already assessing his injuries and barking orders to the team for meds and scans. “We’ll have you well in no time, General,” she assured Poe, fondness in her tone and gaze. “Just relax now. You need rest.”

Hux and Rey lifted Poe up onto the hovercart, Hux hurrying along side Poe as they made their way into the transport. "I wont leave you." Hux said stiffly, his hand in Poe's as the door closed behind them. He refused to move out from next to the man, having been so far away from him for....so long he couldn't stand to be away any longer. They would just have to work around him. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." He stood close, Poe's hand pulled to his forehead as he leaned over. "I was so angry and i didn't realize how much it hurt you and i'm so sorry." His voice broke, a sob escaping him as he realized he had Poe _back_.

  


Poe blinked slowly at Hux as the medical team hustled around them both, not really sure what he was apologizing for. And then he remembered and smiled sadly. “Don’t cry, Armitage,” he murmured. “I forgave you before I left. But I’m sorry, too.” He touched his lover’s face with a weak hand, wiping away tears. “We’re okay. You found me.” Dr. Kalonia said, “The drugs will make you sleeping, General. I’d prefer you not to fight them. You need rest.” “Yes, ma’am,” Poe said with a weary smile for her. “May Armitage stay with me?” “As long as he keeps out of the way,” she said with a nod to the ginger. “You heard the doc,” Poe said. “No going anywhere.” He closed his one good eye and then opened it again to look back at the other man. “Wish I were in better shape to really say hello to you. I had it all planned out, how I was going to take you in my arms and kiss you senseless.

  


Hux shot Dr.Kalonia a stubborn look as he stood still next to Poe, his hand gripping Poe's as tightly has he dared. "I wont leave. Ill be right here okay?" He took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Get some rest and when you wake we will be back on the ship and-" His voice cracked, having to take a deep breath. "everything will be okay." His hand trembled as he held Poe's. Hux laughed at Poe's joke, tears streaming down again as he rolled his eyes. "Yea well....It will have to wait till you wake up alright?" He kissed Poe's hand gently. "Now sleep. the sooner you sleep the sooner that can happen okay?"

  


“Don’t want to sleep,” Poe admitted softly. “I don’t want to take my eye off you. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you for real.” He had a few tears running down from his good eye now, too, and they were joyful. “Don’t want to take it off you.” He squeezed Armitage’s hand lightly, feeling the ship take off without them. “Guess I’m not as pretty as you right now, huh? No hair.” Dr. Kalonia smiled softly at the pair and said, “I’m glad you can still joke, General. We’re only about five minutes from docking. General Finn promised he’d keep the fuss to a minimum until after you’ve had a chance to recuperate a little. But he’s going to be there.”

  


Hux shook his head, his other hand reaching out to gently touch Poe's head. "I don't give a shit about that." He laughed sadly. "Hair grows back I was more worried about loosing _you_ you idiot." "Now please..." He took a deep breath. "I wont leave you, you have to let the medication do it's job." He smiled down at Poe. "Don't make me knock you out." He knew Poe would know it was a joke, but he didn't care how the doctor took it.

“Alright. Alright. Bossy.” Poe smiled at Hux sweetly for a last moment and then shut his eye to let himself rest. He let out a long sigh and allowed the drugs to carry him under.


	5. Querencia (Most At Home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Hux share some much needed conversation.

When Poe woke up again, he didn’t immediately regret it, which was something he couldn’t say since he’d been taken. Various parts of him still ached, but it was a distant sensation, not the immediate one he’d been living with for days. His right eye still didn’t open, but he could feel the bacta patch on it, a definite improvement from just a swollen eyelid. His bedding was much improved, too, though almost anything would be better than a concrete floor. But best of all, Armitage sat beside the bed, slumped forward with his head on the mattress, asleep. He looked a bit of a fright himself, exhaustion clear in his face and form despite the rest he was getting now.

Still, Poe had never seen anything better. He reached out with his good arm to stroke through his hair and over his cheek and whispered, “I love you, Armitage Hux. Thank you for saving me so I could say it again.” He rested his hand next to Armitage’s cheek. “I’ll keep on saying it.”

A few days had passed for Hux, his mind constantly on edge as he say by Poe's side refusing to leave. More than once he had bitched out some poor soul who tried to convince him to leave in the name of "taking care of himself. Even Finn and Rey had the smarts not to tell him that. He had seen to many of the things Poe needed that weren't required by a doctor to do, cleaning him down, washing his face and even shaving. He knew Poe hated hair on his face and well, the electric shaver he had was all he could use but he used it. Eventually Hux would pass out, leaning against the bed until he woke a few hours later again, unable to think about much of anything but being right beside the other man. Hux hummed where he lay, his mind slowly waking up as he felt fingers in his hair and a warm voice. He hoped finn wasn't trying to convince him to leave, especially with the fingers in his hair. His eyes snapped open, sitting up as he moved in closer. "Your awake!" His smile grew, backs under his eyes as he almost crashed on top of Poe but help himself up, face leaning in close to kiss Poe as deeply as he dared.

Poe kissed back eagerly, good hand in Armitage’s hair. It hurt a little, their embrace, but not enough to make him want to stop for a single second. This was his lover, and he was safe, and they were together and a few aches and pains could be damned.

  
But he did need to breathe eventually, and he use the breathe to repeat, “I love you. I’ll never say it enough, even if it’s all I say for the rest of my life. You know it though, right? It’s not news to you?” He brushed the side of Armitage’s cheek with his knuckles, admiring him even though he looked wiped. “How long was I gone? How long have I been asleep? I lost all track of time…after.” His face got serious. “I can’t believe Ematt did it. Not even having lived through it. Why?” His voice cracked straight down the middle, remembering the days and nights of torture. “He could be a pain, but Leia always believed him to be a good man.”

  
He shook suddenly, a wave of everything hitting him and stealing his composure away. “They hated me. Everything about me. It was like…like with Ren all over again. Only worse because these were supposed to be my allies.”

  


Hux sat back to allow Poe some space, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him to stay as close as he could. He leaned into the hand, eyes closing as he listened to Poe speak, his confessions, his questions and then...the break in his voice. He didn’t even have a chance to reply to any of Poe’s prior statements before he leaned in again, taking Poe’s hand in his own. “I’m so....so sorry..” He mumbled into the hand as he held it to his lips. “Ren isn’t here....and neither is Ematt okay?” Well...he _was_ on the ship, but that was besides the point, he was locked up in the brigg where he would never get out, and that included the other assholes who hadn’t had a chance to die. He reached out, putting his hand on Poe’s cheek, thumbing a tear away. “They weren’t your allies...they _lied_...and that’s not your fault for not seeing it...”

His voice was strained. “It’s not even you Poe....they didn’t agree with _any_ of it, you just happened to be the easiest and high profile one to blame it on.” He shook his head a bit, biting at his lip. “ _none_ of this is your fault, or your doing. That man obviously had a vendetta from the start and he found a moment he could take advantage of.....he took advantage of your _kindness_...which you have only ever showed anyone and thats..” His voice broke, tears welling in his eyes. “That’s honestly what this kriffing galaxy is missing obviously because your the one who made all this..” He gestured to the ship as a whole. “Happen. People love you, not just me.... _so many people_.” “You should have seen Finn and Rey.... _I_ could feel their anger and I’m about as force sensitive as a fucking rock.” He let out a tearful chuckle. “....Everyone was ready to find you....at first when I when you saved my sorry ass i didn’t know why they had chosen you to represent this military...now I know.”

  


He leaned in more, placing his forehead gently on Poe’s, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath of _Poe_ (Though it was mixed with medical smells). “I love you....everyone else loves you...and I’m so sorry this happened and I feel like..” His voice shook. “I feel like If i would have just calmed down and listened to you this would have never happened.” His voice broke after that, fresh tears streaming down his face.

  


As always, someone else’s pain helped wash away his own. In the moment, Poe forgot his distress (consciously) to reach out to his lover’s. “Armitage,” Poe murmured and lifted his head to press little kisses all over his face, licking and kissing away the tears. “If this isn’t my fault, it sure isn’t yours. I would have gone to that meeting with the same co-pilot anyway.” He eased his head back to the pillow, still cradling Armitage’s cheek with one hand. “It would have been good not to have been angry at each other when I left, but it didn’t cause the event.” He smiled almost shyly at some of the praise heaped on him. “I’m glad to hear you see some reasons for my leadership post,” he teased lightly, but that faded along with some of the light in his eyes. “I hope they can still take me seriously and care as much…after what they’ve seen.”

  
He sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “The shaving…I think that was the worst, Armitage. It was just to degrade me as a person. Nothing else.” He dropped his hand to wipe fiercely at his own eyes. “It worked, Armitage,” he whispered. “When I think about I feel so humiliated.” He reached out to run trembling fingers over the peach fuzz forming on his head. “I was coming in silver already…I may be all silver this time. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” His hand reached back up to card through Armitage’s hair. “Still, better me than you. I would suffer all of it a thousand times over to make sure it wasn’t you.”

  


Hux couldn’t help the tears that fell for Poe, the humiliation the man felt was probably the worst thing out of all of this. Wounds would heal but pride would take _much_ longer to heal. “No...no your...your fine. _No one_ thinks _any_ different of you Poe..” His face got hard, a serious look on his face. “ _No one._..I have done everything I can while sitting here scouring the holonet removing every single trace I could. Not only that but Finn told me that the crew has done nothing but ask about how you are doing and that they can’t wait to see you back in your uniform.....” His stare was still intense, nothing but truth in his eyes. He took a deep breath and maneuvered himself so he was laying down next to Poe, taking care not to jostle him. “You could be bald, grey or anything else but nothing could make me stop loving you...or thinking of how...strong you have been this whole time...they might have tried to take your image away from you but they _didn’t_...”

  


Poe didn’t even try to stop the tears now leaking down his face at Armitage’s words, wishing he could believe them as much as his lover did. But he did believe (knew, even) that Armitage’s words about his love were true. There was so much intensity in those fabulous green eyes and in his words. They blew away any doubts Poe might have harbored about the status of Armitage’s feelings. And that contributed to the happy tears that now mingled with the sad. “You’re sweet,” he whispered. “I’m so lucky to get to know that.” He lifted his head for another soft kiss to Armitage’s lips, before lowering all parts of himself back down o the bed with a sigh. “So, what condition am I in?” he asked with a glance at the line in his right arm, which were delivering some kind of fluids. “I know I was pretty rough when you found me. Thank you again for saving me from execution by blaster, by the way. You do have the best timing.”

  


Hux sighed deeply, staring at the side of Poe where he lay next to him. One hand rested gently on his arm where there wasn’t a bandage, thumb rubbing softly over the skin. “...Your the first person who i ever felt the desire to be....sweet with..” He smiled slightly, knowing that Poe was changing the subject and let it happen. “Rey felt you...we wouldn’t have found you if it wasn’t for her....” He closed his eyes, head leaning forward to lay just next to Poe’s. “It’s been a few days....they kept you heavily medicated so you could just rest as they knew you wouldn’t be one to sit here for too long.” His lips pulled into a small smile, knowing how true that was. “Your bruised and battered, couple broken fingers, ribs, leg, nose and your cheek bone but....nothing permanent.” Hux wasn’t one for lying, or making things seem smaller than they were. Poe deserved to know his own condition even if it upset him as he would be dealing with it until it was healed. He had been glad to know the extent of his own damage all those long months ago. He knew there wasn’t anything he could do other than be there for Poe, and encourage him with his mental wounds, but that too was going to take time. “Finn and Rey have taken shared duty of your position for the moment, they already told me to tell you not to expect to go back for at _least_ the next six months.” He smiled more, opening his eyes to look at Poe.

  


“Six months!” Poe yelped and nearly levitated himself off the bed, except pain and the lines in his arm stopped him cold. “I can’t be gone that long, Armitage. There’s the Senate proposal for the First Order personnel. I’m not sitting that out, even if they have to amputate some limbs. I’m not waiting that long to get back in front of the troops, either. They’ll think I’ve died. Or worst been scared off. No.” He shook his head. “I’ve returned faster from worse injuries than this, Armitage.” He sighed again and said, “I’ll talk to Dr. Kalonia. We work through the proposal and get me some time in front of folks…and then I’ll take some time off. But first the proposal. We’re not letting the First Order folks down. What with Ematt’s betrayal and your arguments against it, and I know you’ve got arguments against it, we’ll get them turned around on the matter. We’ll make sure the former First Order folks are all arranged for. I know you won’t be happy until we do.” “And then we can all about how much time off to help me finish recuperating. I want to take you to Yavin 4. I want you to meet my dad. I want you to see my childhood home. I want to marry you. And I want a honeymoon.”

  


Hux startled at Poe’s sudden movement but settled back down when he did, sighing heavily. “Poe...Poe calm down.” He chuckled. “We are still going to push the proposal....i finished it while you were gone and i finalized my version while I was sitting here the other day....” “The crew doesn’t expect to not see you it’s just you wont have all those responsibilities for a while.” He smiled at Poe’s words, knowing how much he was invested in this and how much he cared. “....You have basically won the loyalty of the former First Order members....they know what happened and what you were doing and....they added their own bit to the proposal as well.”

“They spoke their loyalty for you and....that they would follow you where you went so...I don’t think we will have a hard time convincing the council.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Poe’s cheek. “this six months is for everyone...there is an investigation going on through the different higher-ups to make sure there aren’t any more who would dare do something like this again...” He kissed his cheek again. “....besides...I would be upset if you didn’t take me....with how much you have boasted about it.” He smiled about to kiss again before his eyes widened. “Wait....what did you say?...” He pushed up from the bed, one arm holding himself up as he stared down at Poe.

  


Poe watched Armitage respond to his own word explosion with one of his own with a slight smile and a warm gaze. He was relieved to hear that they were ready to push back against the Senate, though he reserved judgement until he read through the proposal and saw the Senate’s response. He didn’t think they were done with the fight yet. (Though having the First Order personnel put support behind him made him feel a bit strange, good in a way that was new.) But nothing else mattered when Armitage realized what Poe had asked him. His green eyes got wide, his skin got flushed, and everything else stilled. He was perfect. Poe loved him so much. “Armitage Hux, will you marry me?”

  


Hux’s lips were parted lightly, staring down at Poe with a look of surprise, mind seeming to have halted. He made a noise as if he was going to speak but nothing came out as he seemed to have trouble getting his mind to work. Eventually he pulled himself from his stupor. “You....you want to.....me?” He swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes glistening again. “I....yes?...is ...is that how this works? I just....say yes?” He seemed genuinely unknowing of what to do, both taken aback by Poe’s desire and the logistics of it all.

  


“If you want to,” Poe said softly. “Then yes, you just say yes.” He farbled for a moment at his neck, relived to find a familiar chain there. His captors had stolen his mother’s ring from him, but someone must have found it and given it back (his bet was on Rey). He took it off his head and slowly placed it over Hux’s. “We’ll have this resized for you to wear,” he said. “We’re now engaged.” His smile could have brightened space itself.  
“Finn is my best man, but I bet Rey willl stand with you. There’s not a lot of people to invite, but my dad is gonna have to be there. And Jess and Kaydel, of course. Everyone else is negotiable. But I’ve always wanted to do it the romantic way, ya know. With some friends and family and exchanged vows and a kiss at the altar and a honeymoon. Especially that part.” “You sure now? You want to tie yourself to this bald old General?

  


Hux didn’t stop him as he pushed the necklace of his head and onto his neck, his face still not moving from the shocked one he held as he continued to look down at Poe. He was breathing shallowly, his lip beginning to quiver. He leaned in suddenly, making sure not to put pressure on Poe as he leaned down and taking deep breaths as he controlled himself. He had never felt such overwhelming feelings, even when the two of them first admitted their feelings to each other. This was something else, this was Poe wanting to be with him.....always. “I..I told you I d-don’t care...about your hair.” He chuckled and cried at the same time.

“I h-have you...a..and that’s what...matters..” The last couple of weeks were finally coming crashing down on him, having been so stressed about how he had treated Poe, then finding out what had happened to him and how nonstop his life had been the entire time they searched. He couldn’t stop the tears fall as he rested his head on the pillow next to Poe, holding onto him by the arm where it wasn’t hurt. He wanted to climb on top of him and hold him tight but that would have to wait.

  


“Come here,” Poe said, scooting over on the bed as far as he could get. “Lie beside me, Armitage.” He encouraged him to lie sideways and tucked close. “Don’t cry. I never wanted to make you cry.” He turned his head to kiss at any part of Armitage he could reach, including clothing, if that was all there was to hand. “I always meant this to be a joyful day in my life. And it is, really. I thought I wasn’t going to find the person I wanted to be with…and then there you were.” He knew he must be smiling like the galaxy’s prize sap, but it didn’t matter in the moment. “Having you is all that matters to me, too.” He paused an appropriate length of time to let that statement percolate. “And I’m taking this as a yes…I mean, you haven’t exactly said it yet, but that’s the vibe I’m getting.”

Hux pushed his face in closer to Poe, chuckling as he nodded. “Yes you idiot” he pressed closer. “I..i dont want to hurt you.” he mumbled. “You still need to heal....when they clear you there is a hover chair waiting just for you.” He smiled, wiping his tears as he looked up. “Oh...i wanted to tell you....i landed a ship when we came to look for you....it was a rough landing but...i landed it...”

  


“Yes, you idiot, the words of my dreams,” Poe crooned back, obviously overjoyed. “I can’t wait to tell Rey and Finn. And my dad. Rey and Finn will have to hug you senseless in my stead.” He chuckled softly at the idea and leaned forward to kiss Hux’s nose. “Will you take my name? Armitage Dameron has a lovely ring to it.” He rubbed their noses together, loving and affectionate.

  
“I wish I could have seen. Does this mean you’re a pilot now? Are you going to start showing off you pilot skills? This time, you can drive the hoverchair, and I can go along for the ride. You can show off how well you’ve learned from me…about being a General.” He grinned, all play and happiness in this moment.

  


Hux’s smile was wide, the idea of taking on Poe’s name was.....unreal for him. He had gone by Hux his whole life and the idea of throwing it away wasn’t actually as bad as he might have thought. Hux was a First Order General, Hux was the child of Brendol, Brendol Hux. Armitage Dameron was the Lieutenant and assistant of the man who had not only save him, but gave him a new life and a new start. It had a wonderful ring to it. “Yea...yea I like that...” He sighed, settling in next to Poe more comfortably. “I wouldn’t say I’m a pilot but I do know those manuals and the small lesson on buttons sure did help.”

  


“If you want, we can have a few lessons on our honeymoon,” Poe said. “My mother’s old A-wing is in the garage, and I’ll have an X-wing. We can get you comfortable as a pilot. That’d be a lovely wedding gift for me…but only if you’re interested, Armitage Dameron.” He hummed in contentment. “Yes, I like the sound of that. Do you want to put a ring on me, too?” He wiggled the fingers of his left hand. “Whatever you want. I’m sure it will be tasteful. You’re thoughtful that way.”

  


Hux chuckled, his exhaustion was beginning to take hold as he yawned. “I’m not letting you get away with giving me something and me not getting you something back....I’ll find something worthy of you.” He sighed heavily, happier than he had been in weeks. “And yes...i would love you to teach me to pilot...”

  


Poe saw how tired Hux was and since he felt similar, he said, “Sleep now. Tell Rey and Finn when we wake up. Take me for a spin in the hoverchair and let me show my healing face. I think I’ll wear a hat though, this time. Read me your rebuttal and counterproposal. All of those things for later. And then…we can start planning our wedding and honeymoon.” He smiled dopily at Armitage. “I love you. I don’t know when it really started, but I couldn’t imagine not feeling it now.”

  


Hux closed his eyes and nodded, moving his hand to intertwine with Poe's good hand. "It doesn't matter when it started.....we know and....and we can make sure we never loose it." He smiled, letting his body relax as he laid next to Poe. Hux was content, and happier than he had ever been. He had no idea how he had gone his whole life without knowing what this felt like, to have someone to care for, to care for you and to be close with. He was glad he had found it though, and he would do anything to keep it.


	6. Ukiyo (In The Moment)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Hux get their much deserved time alone.

Poe quickly bored of being stuck in the medbay, despite the still painful nature of some of his injuries (and appearance). Once strong enough, he tried twice to sneak out, but was quickly corralled and escorted back. Sneaking away as General-in-Chief of the Third Republic military was much more difficult than as a pilot for the Resistance. He was also embarrassed by the intensity of the worry he caused in the soldiers who ushered him back, clucking at him to take care of himself. (It all made him sulky.) So, he looked forward to seeing Armitage after his shift everyday, perking up at sight of the ginger. And today, he felt good enough to try and coax him into a make out session, which was why seeing Rey and Finn trail in with him wasn’t as exciting as it might be. Still, he propped himself up with a little groan, threw on a bright grin and said, “Hey, good to see you guys. I’m going crazy in here. Come to break me free?”

Hux hadn’t wanted to go back to doing shifts when Poe had awoken. He knew he would still have to get things done before the proposal was supposed to be reviewed and he wanted to make sure it was exactly as he wanted it, and as the other defectors from the Order had wanted it. He felt less awkward around Finn now, the two of them having come together to help someone they both cherished and it broke the ice between them that they hadn’t known how to break before. Their professional and friendly relationship beginning to go smoother because of it. Rey on the other hand had become somewhat of a personal confidant for Hux, letting him vent his frustrations too when he needed it as Hux didn’t want to do so to Poe. He knew he would still end up doing so with Poe, but he didn’t want to put the brunt of that on him in his current condition. Poe might have started his healing, but there was going to be lasting damage that came with what happened and the last thing the other man needed was the work frustrations of Hux. The three of them had decided to come see Poe on his final day in the medical ward, having told the doctors to let them tell him he could finally leave this room and go back to his own quarters. Hux walked in, a smile on his face as Finn and Rey came in behind him.

“Actually yea.” He chuckled, walking up to the bed side to lean down and give Poe a kiss. Hux had gotten less embarrassed by the concept of kissing in front of other people after all this happened. His thought was that he didn’t know how long either of them had with each other at any given time, so to deny himself something as simple as a kiss or a hug in public was stupid. “There is a hoverchair out there waiting for you. We figured you would want dinner. Well... _real_ dinner and not bland hospital food.” He chuckled, looking back to the other two before back to Poe. Rey smiled, waving lightly as she hadn’t seen him in a few days with how busy her and Finn’s schedule had been.

“Really!? Whoopie!” Poe wrapped a hand around Hux’s head and tugged him down for a long kiss, not caring if the other two made noises and objected. “Tonight, we’re lying on the sofa and making out for hours, so don’t schedule anything.” He rubbed their noses together before releasing Hux and reaching out for Finn and Rey. “Hugs now!” Finn rolled his eyes, but didn’t fight it, simply bending down to hold Poe tight, still so glad to have him back and recovering. “Yeah, yeah, you’re just happy to get to pilot anything, even if it’s only a hover chair.” “Damn right,” Poe said and wiggled his fingers for Rey to Coe get her sugar. “That and going mad in these four walls for two weeks, after spending about the same time in another set of four walls. I just need freedom!” He looked over at Armitage. “And my man…and maybe my hair to grow in faster. My head itches. I had no idea hair growth could make your head itch like this.

  


Hux blushed hard as he was pulled over, mumbling into the kiss before he pulled back, chuckling at the demands. They were less demands and more something the man (and Hux) needed right now. Rey walked over after Finn was done hugging, leaning over to wrap her arms around Poe, sighing deeply. “I’m glad your getting out of here Poe....we miss you...we all do.” She kissed his cheek before pulling back. Hux shook his head, smiling reaching over to the table he had set something down on. “I have a change of clothes for you, the sooner you change the sooner you can leave.” Rey grabbed Finn’s shirt sleeve, tugging on it. “We will meet you two in the hall. Come on Finn.” She tugged him along out the door. Hux smiled and turned back to Poe, holding a hand out to help him up. “Your gonna have to wear sleep pants for a while....i dont think that cast will help with getting pants on.” He smiled, grabbing the Pj pants.

  


Poe thumped the cast with one hand and scowled. “Still don’t know why they decided to go the old-fashioned route instead of using bacta. Bacta not advisable for this kind of break, blah blah blah. I’d already be walking now otherwise.” But he didn’t complain, happily undoing the hospital clothing he’d been wearing for far too long and tossing it aside. “Help me?” He asked with a soft plea in his voice, reaching bare arms out to Armitage. He longed to press bare skin to bare skin with his lover again and just allow his touch to soothe. The harshness of his treatment at the hands of believed-allies still caused him to wake up screaming into the night’s darkness sometimes, even with Armitage there. And he was a little self conscious of the salt-and-pepper fuzz on his head. At least most of it was still dark. But when he did need soothing or reassurance, Armitage was a balm to his torn soul, always ready to assert his love and affection for Poe. The once cold and untouchable First Order General was Poe’s sun and moon, all the warmth he needed from life.  
“I love you,” he said impetuously.

  


Hux shook his head again, taking the medical gown from him and helping Poe into his pants, the method bringing back vivid memories of Poe helping him into his pants back when he first woke up from the Bacta bath. “I love you too.” He replied, and he would reply as many times as Poe continued to say it to him. After the pants, he helped Poe put his shirt on, noting the deep green and blue bruise that still were scattered on the mans ribs and arms. They had gotten better, but the signs of his damage still existed, from the bruises and the leg....to the constant nightmares Hux woke up too, helping Poe come back to sleep by holding him tight through them. “Don’t worry about the schedule for me...Finn gave me the next few days off and then after that I am going to go visit the prisoners.....see them once before the next proposal...but for now it’s just you and me.” He gave him another kiss before helping him stand, giving him an arm to balance on till they got out of the room and to the hoverchair.

  


Poe lightly clung to Armitage with one arm and used a crutch in the other to get himself safely to his hover chair. He tried out the controls, also thinking of the day he’d first gotten ‘Ensign Hux’ out of medical. “Are you going to give me a lothcat as well?” he teased, before sending the hoverchair forward quickly down the hall. Finn just shook his head with amusement as Poe shot ahead of them, slowing to greet a group of officers who gathered round his chair to express their delight at seeing him about, even in the chair. “Most people just end of loving him, don’t they?” he asked softly. “He’s like this force of nature that way. You don’t understand it, but you’re affected by it.” He glanced at Hux and grinned. “Some of us even more than others.”

  


Hux just shook his head as he chuckled, walking along side Finn and Rey as they watched Poe go. “.....I understand it now more than you think....actually I think i understood it back....back then too..” His cheeks flushed as he looked to the side. “....There was something about him even when he was trash talking the crew and myself.” He chuckled again as they continued walking.” Rey chuckled but her smile was soft, almost sad. “You two might not feel it, but it’s his need to please....he is happy when others are happy...”

  


“It’s what makes him a good General, and a bad one,” Finn said softly. “He needs others to help him make some of the calls where people are going to be hurt or upset. And we need him to make sure everyone is thought of, nobody is left out. You’ve told him about the reaction to his kidnapping and your rebuttal and counterproposal to the Senate?” he asked Hux. “At least those meetings led to some good." Poe was waiting for them at the end of the hall, though he was surrounded by a new group of people, chatting and joking with them all. He looked back toward his closest friends and smiled, huge, bright and real. “Come on, slowpokes.”

  


Hux couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face as he made eye contact with Poe, the three of them catching up only to continuously fall behind every now and then on their way to the galley. When they got to the entrance of the galley Hux walked to open the door, showing the inside which was... _full_ of crew, more full than there was even room to sit (though there was a table that had space for them.) The crew erupted in cheers, everyone holding up drinks and smiling wide as they saw the group arrive. Hux almost wanted to cover his ears with how loud it was, but Rey had explained that after they got there and the first cheers of his welcome home was done that the crew would leave him to his dinner, not wanting to overcrowd him when he got back. No one argued, knowing the man might need his space (and time to himself) before he came back healthy.

  


But Poe zoomed in on his hoverchair and began to circulate around the room, talking to as many people as he could in small groups. He was animated, talkative, full of gestures and verve. And the crew lingered to speak to him as they saw his intentions. “Soooo, maybe we should have thought this out a little more,” Finn said s Poe zipped around and chatted to everyone. “He’s going to be an hour or more. We should just get dinner and a table.” He shook his head and said, “He’s going to pass out as soon as he gets on anything soft. He may fall out of the chair asleep at this rate.”

Rey giggled as she watched Poe zoom around, following the two men to the table they had reserved. “I think you two underestimate his ability to not only talk, but stay awake in stressful situations.” She smiled, sitting down after they grabbed their food, setting a tray for Poe to the side for when he got over to them. She took a bite, smiling again. “He is very stressed right now....not necessarily in a bad way but i can hear his worry, both about himself and his crew in his absence.” Hux smiled, shaking his head. “He _would_ be thinking about others while he just got out of medical.” He took a bite of the food, the galley having made something extra nice for the return of their General in Chief.

  


Finn’s return smile tinged with his own sadness. “I think all of us believed General Organa would be here to lead this part of the effort…the rebuilding. And without her, Poe has taken her place as much as he can. Without feeling up to it.” He looked to Rey. “I still miss her, and I wasn’t anywhere near as close as you or Poe. I don’t even know how you cope. But I guess he does in part by throwing himself into this role.” He looked to Hux again, warmth in his eyes for the other man now. “You’re good for him in that way, too. You help him do better as a General, for the parts he really hates. Sometimes, I believe you two really were Force destined for each other.” He turned his head again as Poe moved to another table, slowly working his way around to them.

  


Rey's smile softened, taking a deep breath as she kept her eyes on Poe. "....I still feel her...." She spoke softly, then looked to Finn. "And with some more training when we get the time you might too." She pointed at Finn with her fork before smiling again and continuing to eat. Hux blushed at Finn's comment, looking down to his food as he pushed some of it around. "I ...don't know about all that....All i do is what i did before....except for someone else.." He looked over at Poe "Besides...I still think all that Force stuff is..." He gestured with his hand. "Ludacris."

  


Finn raised his eyebrows and said, “Really? After all your time around Snoke and Ren and now Rey, you think it’s ludicrous?” He shook his head with a low chuckle. “I might have once, too, but now…like Rey said, someday, I hope I can feel General Organa again. I wish we could help Poe see her, too. I guess that’s not possible?” He looked to Rey. “Is that possible?” Poe pulled up to their table at that moment, the smile on his face real and bright, but tired at the edges. He stole a piece of fruit off Armitage’s plate and asked, “Is what possible?” Before popping it in his mouth. His left hand dropped on Armitage’s nearest leg, rubbing up and down and squeezing his knee.

  


Hux was about to answer before he watched Poe take the fruit. "The Force...." He looked back at Finn, his cheeks turning a bit pink at the hand on his leg, still having to get used to being so....public about things. "It's not that i don't.....believe in it." He looked to Rey then back to Finn. "I saw it first hand many times." Hux didn't bother with hiding any of the sadness that crossed his face. "It's the concept of it that gets me." He grabbed another handful of fruit and dumped it on the tray that he slid to Poe, giving him the overly sweet food. "Where is the science behind it, what is it and why are only some people able to use it?" He sighed. "I can see something working without knowing how it works and to me that is the problem. How has _no one_ thought to study why it works. That is what is ludacris to me." Rey chuckled and looked to Poe, glad he finally sat down. "You have quite the energy reserves from all those weeks of laying i suppose."

  


“Thank you, darling,” Poe said and pressed a kiss to Armitage’s nearest cheek, before popping another bit of fruit in his mouth. “And yes, I hate laying around. Makes me bouncy when I’m finally cleared for action. Not that I am yet, but at least I can get out of the medbay.” He looked at his cast with despair. Finn said, “Well, what with Rey being the only guardian of the Force left, and you two being friends, maybe you can start studying the Force.” “Who is doing what now?” Poe asked, looking between the three. “Are you suggesting Armitage leave his cozy post with me to become a researcher? I’m not sure I’d allow that. Who’d steer me through my job? I mean, Kaydel’s great, but a few days with me, and she’ll resign.”

  


Hux rolled his eyes slightly, catching Rey's look as she smirked at the two of them. "No one is saying that Poe." She chuckled. "There is always free time, and Finn and I are always going to be training when we can." She winked at Poe before returning to her food. "Besides. Until we get the Order remnants either home or given a home I won't have anything else in my plate."

  


“See, I even make my fiancée roll his eyes at me on many occasions, and he’s pledged o spend his life with me,” Poe said in a casual manner. “As for the First Order personnel, I plan to contact the Senators I know tomorrow and find out where everything stands. I know our proposal has been building momentum, but now that I’m up and around and not on major drugs anymore, I can put my back into the work again.”  
But Finn was not to be distracted from the first statement. “Excuse me?” he asked, looked between them. “Your what now?”

  


Hux's body went ridgid, his face and neck immediately turning _very_ red as he looked over to Poe, then to Finn then back down to his plate of food. Rey covered her mouth, coughing lightly as she looked between the two of them. She had felt something was different by the freely given affection in front of _all_ these people. "Uh...." Hux took a deep breath, glaring over at Poe for a moment before looking back to Finn, his face severely red still. "Uhm...well now that Poe has _opened his big mouth_ "

Poe remained unbothered and said, “I asked Hux to marry me, and he made me the luckiest man in the galaxy by agreeing. Once we get this whole Senate proposal dealt with properly and make sure the programs are up and running, I’m taking some time off to see my dad, marry Armitage and go on a honeymoon. And you’re my best man, Finn. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.”

  
Finn grinned, all delight now. “Of course, buddy, whatever you want. But I get to plan one of those silly pre-parties for both of you. Aboard the ship.” “Oh man,” Poe said, but it was obvious he was into the idea. “And I’ll help pick you out your Best Man’s outfit.” He turned to Hux. “I want to go full traditional in that I don’t get to see you in your outfit and you don’t get to see mine until our wedding day.”

  


Hux was still red, putting his head in his hands for a moment to pull himself together before he looked back over to Poe. "I thought you wanted _me_ to say something?....You really can't hold your tongue for too long." He glared, but there was a light smile and no actual anger there as he reached over and stole one of the fruits back, putting it in his mouth. He had come a long way of getting over sweet things since Poe had been in the medical ward. "Oh that's so wonderful!" Rey smiled wide, getting up and coming around the table to lean down to give Poe a hug, unable to hold herself back from the happy news. "You two can bet we will help out."

She pulled back smiling down at the two. Hux was still beet red as he sighed, not unhappy with what they wanted to do, but sheepish at the idea of doing something so.... _traditional_. It wasn't as thought the Order didn't have it's traditions, but for him marriage had been something of a legal thing. Those in the order got married for children or for politics, which was the signing of paperwork and moving on with their day. What was he supposed to do with this tradition? He didn't have friends to invite (other than Finn and Rey....well, unless he somehow convinced the few officers he had been _closeish_ too who were still imprisoner to come but he highly doubted that.) "We can do all that Poe." He smiled, finally giving in to the awkwardness of it all. "Besides...I have no idea how to manage any of this anyway...I wouldn't know what to do. I'm happy regardless." He set his hand on top of Poe's on his leg, giving a small squeeze.

  


Poe reached up to hug Rey and rested his cheek briefly against hers, delighted by the open joy in her reaction. “Thank you.”

  
He turned back to his lover. “I’m sorry, darling,” Poe said, a little sheepish. “I just couldn’t hold myself back and who knows how long it would take for you to say anything. Besides, now we can really be open about everything. And I need to notify the Senate, but we’ll do that after we smash their proposal for First Order personnel and get yours set-up. Then we can announce our holiday and marriage. Let the yell all they want then.” He turned his hand to tangle their fingers. “You really are disgustingly sweet,” Finn said with a nose wrinkle. “Not that it’s a shock from you-“ he pointed to Poe “-but it’s a pretty big shock come from you.” He pointed to Hux. “Like seriously. You’re completely different from the First Order General you were. It’s a good look on you.” “The best look,” Poe confirmed, barely refraining from kissing Armitage in front of everyone. “He’s adorable.”

  


Hux could only turn his head, the blush he had since Poe first blurted out their relationship status only seemed to worsen. He glared at the two fo them, a fork in his hand as he pointed with it. "If you two don't leave me alone I'm going to get up from here and leave." He said with a attitude, but there was no real anger, just embarrassment and sheepishness. Rey laughed as she sat back down, grabbing her drink. "You guys are going to ruin him stop, all the blood in his body is already at his face he is giving to pass out." She joked. "You three are _horrid_.... _encouragable_." He huffed, angrily stabbing a vegetable as he ate it.

Poe squeezed his knee again and said softly, “I wouldn’t want you to leave. I’m very happy right now. With my three best friends and finally free of the medbay. And…knowing the crew is pleased to have me back.” He glanced at the thinning crowds, people now following their earlier orders from Rey and Finn and returning to duty. “I don’t have the Force, but I could feel that they were glad for my return. It-“ He made a low, pained noise. “-it meant a lot to me, after everything.” He lifted a hand and ran it over the thin hair on his head, obviously self-conscious about the missing curls. Finn placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder and squeezed firmly. “You’re still the best person I know, Poe. Of course we all wanted you back. We’d have all done much much more to find you, if it had been necessary. And we’re glad to see you still able to smile and joke.”

  


Hux squeezed Poe's hand, hearing the break I'm his voice. He figured it was going to be soon that they would need to retreat to the privacy of their own room, Poe becoming overwhelmed maybe. He yawned, faking his own exhaustion as he knew Poe wouldn't admit it himself. "I think I need to head to bed.." he admitted sadly. "Are you finished or do you want to bring some back?"

  


Poe blinked at Armitage and then smiled softly. “I could rest…and spend more time alone with you.” He turned back to Finn and Rey. “Thank you for all of this…and for supporting Armitage and me. And for watching after each other when I was kidnapped. You’ve all helped me e General-in-Chief of the Third Republic. I still don’t feel worthy of it, but with you three around me, I believe we’ll still do a good job.” He nodded quickly and then steered himself away from the table. “Want a ride, Armitage? I promise not to go too fast for your delicate sensibilities.” He grinned at his fiancée.

  


Rey smiled, nodding. "Poe, we would do this again and then some." Hux nodded and stood, smirking as he looked around. It would be embarrassing, but Poe wanted this closeness. "Of course, my leg has been pretty rough today after all his walking." He smirked and moved to sit down on Poe's lap, his cheeks red but not caring. This was for Poe, not for anyone else.

  


Poe saluted his friends and drove himself and Armitage out of the Mess, waving to the remaining personnel, who cheered them both. Once they were in the relative quiet of the hall, Poe’s voice turned low and concerned. “Is your leg bothering you, Armitage?” He steered expertly with one hand and rubbed at Hux’s back with the other. “I’m sorry. I should have noticed. You need to take care of it.” (Poe really could be the galaxy’s most ridiculous hypocrite.) He did keep them to a relatively safe speed as he headed for their quarters, however, as he promised. “We haven’t been able to sleep in the same bed for too long,” he said. “I just want to curl up around you and forget how to let go. I love you, Armitage.” He’d been peppering that statement into their conversations since his return.

  


Hux smiled as he got his free ride, making sure not to put too much pressure on Poe's broken leg. "I'm okay Poe. I might have fibbed a little on how my leg was feeling." He smirked. "And yes. I want that too. We have no where to be for the next few days and I would be highly upset if we didn't just sit and lay in bed for that time." He kissed Poe's cheek.

  


“And make out?’ Poe asked hopefully. “And find a way to have a little more fun despite this cast?’ He had perked up some now that he knew Armitage’s leg wasn’t as bad as he’d made it sound. And he wasn’t so tired himself that spending some serious naked time with his lover didn’t make him perk up (literally, as well as figuratively. It had been far too long since last they were together with any kind of intimacy). “I promise not to get too carried away. But we only had a couple of nights together before our argument and then I got kidnapped and then I got stuck in the medbay. And I’ve missed you.” By the end, hi voice his a very melodramatic note.

  


Hux chuckled, seeing their door as he listened to Poe complain. "Yes. Yes yes you giant baby we can do all of that." He pushed up when they got close, opening the door to let Poe in. The inside of the room was..... _very_ different. The walls were no longer dark grey, painted a bright white and a bunch of resistance flags were hung about (some were damaged from Poe's flights). Poe's medals and awards were hung as well, printed holos hung on the wall, one being one of Poe and Leia. "I uh...might have changed some things while you were laid up in bed." He smiled, the feeling of the personal quarters were very different.

  


“Giant baby?” Poe protested, before his grumbles were cut off by a look around the room. “Armitage…you did all this?” He flew them in a little circle, looking at everything, including an extra long stop in front of the holo of himself and Leia. He made a choked off sniffling sound and said, “I always liked that holo. There were so few times when we were both smiling, you know? Sometimes so little to smile about. But we’re building a galaxy I believe she’d be proud of. With your help.” He turned and pressed a kiss to the nearest part of Armitage, uncaring where it landed. “Thank you, darlin’. These rooms are so much better now. Livable. Friendly. I didn’t even know they could be, though they were always better with you in them.” He tugged Armitage into a hug. “You’re amazing.” And he lifted his head to ask for a kiss.

  


Hux smiled as he watched Poe take I'm the room, knowing he would like it regardless of how he did it. He had wanted Poe to come back to something he could feel comfortable in, something that would make him happy outside of all this pain he had been through. "Nah...I'm just good at thinking ahead." He chuckled and leaned in a returned the kiss. "Now what was it about getting naked and laying in bed for hours?" He pulled back, giving Poe a smirk.

  


Poe shot him a look full of heat and parked the chair outside their bedroom. He snagged the crutches he’d been given and eased himself off the chair and headed inside, noting how Armitage how made that room more livable and brighter, as well. He smiled and looked around a moment, before moving himself into the refresher.

  
“Let me get cleaned up a little first. One thing about being a pilot for as long as I have…I’m used to maneuvering around with broken limbs.” He cleaned his face and hands, before brushing his teeth and otherwise getting ready to settle.

  
He eased himself back to and on the bed, setting aside the crutches. He then reached out to Armitage ad wiggled his fingers. “Undress me, and I can undress you? Please.”

  


Hux had watched him leave into the refresher, smiling as he could see change in the man's mood being back in their room. He waited for him, coming to stand in front of Poe as he sat on the bed. He smiled, reaching out to take the hem of Poes shirt. "Of course, we can do whatever you want, and I want whatever you want." Hux would never tell Poe how he had slept in their bed for all those long weeks after their fight, upset with himself as he longed to have him again. Poe didn't need to know that as they were together now. Hux slowly began to undress Poe, his nails occasionally catching skin lightly to send shivers through the man before helping him take the last of his clothes off. He smiled as he took a step back, Poe was still just as attractive to him as he had been before, hair was nothing. It was the wounds that hurt him, made him feel sorry for everything, but he wouldn't let that show. "My turn." He moved closer standing in between Poe's legs.

  


“We’ll want together then,” Poe said and worked on the clasps to Armitage’s uniform with practiced hands, peeling it over his head. He tossed the garment away, but wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him close. Pressing his face to the warm skin of his abdomen and chest, he began to decorate the skin with soft kisses and tiny nibbles. “Armitage,” he moaned. “I missed you so much, darlin.’ Missed kissing you and touching you and having you near.” He rubbed his cheek up and down over the soft skin. “I love you so much.” He inhaled his sweet scent a moment, before pulling back again. “No rushing,” he said with a soft smile and licked a warm stripe up Armitage’s stomach to one of his nipples. He kissed the tender bud and sucked on it for a long moment, before switching to give the other side the same treatment. “You even taste good,” he murmured and pressed his ear over Armitage’s chest to listen to his heartbeat. He could just bask in these moments with his lover forever. Despite the throbbing between his legs in eagerness, he wanted to just bask.

Hux smiled softly as he let Poe undress him, pressed foreword between his legs as he maneuvered to help when he could. He breathed in deeply when Poe pulled close, leaning his head down to rest his lips and nose on top of Poe's head. He kissed the growing fuzz there, hands resting on Poe's shoulders as he kneaded them lightly. "I missed you too....I'm just glad....glad to have you back." A shiver ran through his body when Poe licked his chest and over his sensitive nipple, moaning lightly at the attention. Hux had found that not only was Poe a very orally driven man, but he himself had many things he liked and was very sensitive. Hux pulled back lightly, putting a hand on Poe's chest. "Scoot up onto the bed and lay back." He smiled, beginning to work on his own boots and pants while he waited.

  


“Aw man, I don’t get to finish undressing you?” Poe asked, but scooted back as directed. He let his broken leg settle to one side and spread open the intact one to invite Hux between them. “Come here, Armitage?” He reached out his hands and wiggled his fingers in playful demand. Inside, he was practically aflame with need to hold his lover close again, bare skin to bare skin. Poe had always been tactile and so long without much friendly contact hurt him, along with the actual wounds. Being with Armitage had soothed many of those pains, but this was something he’d longed for since leaving to go to the stupid meetings in the first place. “Please,” he said softly.

  


Hux smiled as he let his his boots drop, keeping the pants on as he climbed up onto the bed to follow Poe. “Fine, only because you asked so nicely.” He chuckled, coming to kneel in between Poe’s open legs where he sat. Hux was able to get a real good look at Poe this way, his toned body on display, olive skin stark against the dark sheets on the bed. He was truly a masterpiece of the human body, regardless of the damage which was temporary. He leaned in, placing a kiss on Poe’s lips as he gave him access to remove his pants, working his hips and legs to make it easier for Poe to do so.

Poe opened his mouth to the kiss and stroked his tongue against Armitage’s, humming softly and happily to himself as he did. He lightly took the pants in hand and opened the fasteners without breaking their kiss. Grateful for the assistance his lover gave, he removed the last barriers between them, taking the briefs with the pants, and tossed them aside. Both now nude, he urged Armitage to lie on top of him, avoiding his leg, so he could soak in the warmth of his skin. He spread his hands and rubbed them up and down the other man’s back and ass, squeezing gently. He planted soft kisses over his neck and chin, before biting lightly at his pulse point. “You feel so good in my arms,” he said. “I’ve missed this terribly. Thinking of being with you again got me through some of the worst days. I need you.”

  


Hux accepted the kiss greedily, pressing closer as Poe undressed him. When he was fully naked, he pressed himself against Poe's body, one knee keeping him propping him up slightly to keep his full weight of Poe's chest. "I missed you too." He spoke into Poe's lips, his hands moving up Poe's side and up his chest, the feeling of him wasn't something he had gone without for the last few days, but he hadn't been skin to skin with him for weeks. "I thought I would never get you back. And when I saw you, I knew you would be okay and i moved without even thinking." He kissed again, this time down Poe's cheek and to his ear.

  


“You’re so good to me, Armitage. Good for me, too.” Poe rubbed their noses together and stole several more kisses, moaning softly in pleasure. “I never doubted I would get back to you, my love. I couldn’t bear not to believe it.” He shifted a little and tugged at Armitage. “Let me feel all of you. I’m strong enough.” Besides his awkward leg, he felt fine, though he knew there were still marks of his mistreatment. He’d recovered in all important ways and needed this last bit of reassurance that he was back with his friends, with his lover.

  
“I want you inside me, Armitage. Please. We can find a way.”

  


Hux gave Poe a "are you sure" look before slowly letting his full weight press down on top of Poe, sighing as their bodies were now fully touching. He rested his head on Poe's shoulder, breathing in his smell as he pressed his face into his hair line wanting to be as close as possible. He blinked a few times however, Poe's statement catching him off guard. He pulled his head back slightly, cocking his head to look at him better. "You....you want me?" His cheeks went red, a almost nervous look on his face. Poe had been his first, and so far Hux had been on the receiving end of things since they had been together (which was fine, he enjoyed it.) He had never thought to ask or bring it up, not really thinking it was something necessary. "I...I can do that." He almost felt giddy, but also nervous. What if he wasn't good at it? What if he hurt Poe? What if he wasn't satisfying?

  


Poe read the nerves and smoothed his hands over Armitage’s cheeks, pulling him into a sweet kiss. “Of course I want you…and no other. You can do this. Just go slow. It’s been a few years for me.” He ran a thumb over his lover’s lower lip, tender. “I want to share this with you. I need to feel us linked. We’ll do this together.” He lounged back into the pillows and said, “And I want you bare. Nothing between us. Nothing to separate us…including us.” He looked a little chagrinned himself, a touch of sorrow in his eyes over their fight. “Everything you need should be in the nightstand. I’ll need something to prop my legs open and safely out of the way.”

  


Hux nodded, a small smile on his lips as he pulled back and leaned over towards the night stand, reaching in where he had been told (and seen Poe grab things for their previous nights together.) He set the lube next to him and smiled, sitting on his legs as he looked at Poe, admiring his body. "Will the pillows work?" He asked, reaching over and grabbing the few pillows that Poe wasn't leaning against. Hux insisted they got more, he himself liking to use them not only under his head, but between his legs as well when he slept, so their bed had more than normal. He was nervous and excited, happy to be able to do this for Poe, and happy to be able to get to do this for himself too. He leaned forward, taking Poe's good leg and lifting it up so he could place the pillow under his lower back, propping his rear up to get a better angle as well as make it easier for him to place the pillow under Poe's broken leg. "There...is that comfortable?"

  


Poe settled back and wiggled around a little bit and then beamed up at Armitage, everything warm in his gaze. “Yes. It’s perfect, love. Come here?” He reached out for him, noting how exhilarated the other man looked and feeling the same excitement himself. “You’re so beautiful. I used to dream about you, when we were apart, but dreams are nothing to the reality of you. How did I get so lucky, Armitage? How did nobody else steal you long ago?”

  


Hux's face went red, moving in closer as he let Poe's hands take his face, going in for a kiss before looking in his eyes. "...There was nothing to steal back then....you.....you changed me..." He smiled sadly. "I wouldn't have been....this way without you." He kissed again, hand reaching out for the lube as he uncapped it with one hand, the other going down to take hold of Poe's cock, hand stroking gently. "If anything I should be saying that to you." He spoke into the kiss, pulling his hand away only to put a good bit of lube on it, hand going back to stroking before sliding down over Poe's balls and to his hole, slim fingers circling it for a moment before pushing in gently, going to the first knuckle and pulling out again and repeating the process. He had learned quite a few things from Poe, one of them being the act of foreplay, and how prepping could _be_ foreplay.

Poe made a low gasp at the first touch to his hole, but used his good leg to prop up his ass for more access. “That feels good, Armitage. More. Lots more. Please. It’s been so long.” He gritted his teeth a little at being unable to push back into the touch. His fingers slid over Hux’s shoulders and sides, gentle and coaxing. He did his best to encourage the touches, despite his current physical limitations. His insides clenched with desire at the thought of giving this bit of himself to Armitage, something he’d done only infrequently in the past. But it felt right with his lover, his betrothed. “Armitage Dameron,” he tried out and smiled even more at the sound. “My husband.”

  


Hux moaned into the kisses, pushing in more and moving his fingers more as Poe requested it. He wanted to do good for Poe, wanted him to feel good and not hurt like he had been for the last few weeks, he needed love and pleasure. He kept going until he was at a full finger, then moved to two and finally three, pointer to ring all massaging him and his long fingers stroking over the sensitive nerve inside. His other hand stroked lazy patterns over Poe's chest, mouths still connected as he didn't want to pull back until he had too. Finally he pulled back slightly, only enough to look at Poe. "I think your ready....are you ready?" He bit his lip, his heart fluttering wildly.

  


Poe nodded and smiled at Armitage. “Yes, Armitage, I’m ready for you. So ready. Please.” He was a bit nervous, but knew that his lover would never hurt him. If he made any indication that he was in pain or hesitant, he knew the other man would cease instantly.

  
His own pleasure had dialed up considerably, the massage of his prostate building him up considerably. He reached down to hold himself to prevent bursting too soon, but refused to be ashamed. His body had just gotten used to having a consistent sex life again when it all got disrupted. (And Armitage just naturally made him eager.) “Don’t make me wait any longer, love. It’s been too long, and I’ve wanted this.”

  


Hux smiled sheepishly as he sat back on his legs, grabbing the lube again as he coat his dick, giving himself a few strokes to cover himself completely. His chest was pink just like his face, the excitement showing on his face as he attempted to keep calm but couldn't. He leaned back down, one hand on the side of Poe's chest, the other holding himself to guide. His dick pressed gently against Poe's entrance, the warmth hitting him already as he concentrated on going slow, pushing until his head was in, moaning in pleasure as the warmth enveloped him. "Are...are you still okay?" He looked to Poe, judging his expression as he waited, not wanting to continue until he said so.

  


Poe groaned softly as Armitage’s cock slowly started to penetrate his body, the muscles resisting the larger organ a bit before finally giving. He let out a soft sound of mixed pain and pleasure, though the pleasure was more for the knowledge that this was Armitage penetrating him than for the physical sensations. That was still a bit raw for his unpracticed body. He lightly bit his lower lip as the head finally popped inside him. “I need a moment,” he confessed with a slightly strained smile. “It’s been awhile, and I can feel that.” He held Armitage’s gaze, his own eyes slightly pained, but warm with desire and love for his partner. After a moment, he nodded and said, “Keep going. Just…easy. Please.”

  


Hux nodded, no pushing in any further as he leaned in to rest his head near Poe's head, taking in a deep breath as he just took in the feeling. "We can take this as slow as you want...I have...I haven't done this before so....I don't care how long it takes." He blushed hard, smiling though. When Poe finally gave him the go ahead he lifted his head back up, leaning in for a kiss as he took hold of Poe's dick, only starting to push in slowly when their lips pressed together. He wanted Poe to feel loved, to feel totally and completely loved. "mmm love you." He spoke into the kiss.

Poe smiled into the kiss and said, “I like that I am the first man you’ve ever had this way. I want to be the only one you have this way.” He lightly gripped Armitage’s hips in encouragement, as well as signal for when he needed a slow-down or stop. But the lips at his mouth, the whispered words seemed to ease the bits of pain he felt at the continued penetration.

  
“Love you,” he echoed softly, wishing he could move a little more to ease both of their ways. “You’re everything I’ve wanted. My Armitage.” He tugged him closer, in ever deeper. “So close. I’m alright now. Come on. I want you all the way in.”

  


Hux was panting lightly now at this point, his dick buried deep in Poe and their bodies close. They had this before with Poe on top, but it felt almost different this time, the intimacy if it. When he was hips to cheeks he finally stilled, moaning into the kiss. "Fuck...ah...you feel so...amazing." he whispered, the feeling so different than a hand or mouth. He waited for a few moments before slowly pulling out, thrusting back in with small slow strokes to keep from hurting Poe. It felt great regardless of how fast or far he was going, knowing Poe was doing this with him, and wanting _him_ this way was what made it great.

  


Poe’s eyes kept fluttering closed, as if he could hardly stand the pleasure he was getting in the moment, only to open again to look at Hux with wonder. “You feel perfect in me, love.” The first movement drove a gasp out of his lungs, and he fought to keep from wriggling. His broken leg wouldn’t allow it, but he hated not being able to meet Armitage’s thrusts. Still this was so good, so much, exactly what he needed after the horrible experience of before. And Armitage was so beautiful, looked so amazed at being _allowed_ to have this with him, as if Poe were some mythical, perfect person.  
The sudden tears that flooded his eyes and began to trickle down his cheeks caught him off-guard.

  


Hux's slow thrusts met Poe's cheeks each time, pulling almost all the way out, then pushing all the way back in until he was fully hilted each time. It felt amazing, and what was even better was it was _Poe_ who was under him. He pulled back slightly to get a look at Poe's face, wanting to make sure the man was still okay. He had _not_ expected tears, his eyes widening slightly and his body stopped immediately, not moving. "Poe...poe are you okay?" He sounded frightened, his heart racing now for a different reason as he watched tears flow down his lovers cheeks. "Did I do something? Does it hurt?" He spoke quickly, not wanting to do _anything_ to hurt the other man.

  


Poe shook his head and reached out for Armitage’s face, fingers tracing over the skin. “I’m good, Armitage. So, so good. I just- it’s a lot.” He tugged him down to press kisses over his face. “Having you like this. With me…in me. I was afraid. So afraid, Armitage, that I’d never see you again. And our last interactions would be unpleasant. I hated it.” He closed his eyes as more tears leaked down his cheeks. “And now, being here…it’s so much. So good. Overwhelming.” He reached to touch where their bodies were joined. “Armitage.” He wrapped both arms around him and just held him, pressing his face to a shoulder to let tears leak over his skin. He was not ashamed of the emotions, grateful for the safe place to the express them and the person to express them with. “Armitage.”

  


Hux pulled himself closer, letting Poe let out whatever he needed to while he held him there. He didn't move just yet, giving Poe a few more moments before he began thrusting slowly again, building up a pace as he turned his head to nibble on Poe's ear, moaning a few "I Love you's" and "Your here now's" to keep him grounded. He knew what it was like to be overwhelmed and he also knew that Poe had been the one to keep him grounded. Their first time had been crazy for him, emotional (in different ways) and so memorable. He wanted that for Poe, even if this wasn't _his_ first time, but their first time like this. He wrapped his arms around Poe, holding their heads close as he continued on, biting his lip as he had to concentrate on keeping himself at a steady level of pleasure, not wanting this to end before Poe. With his other hand, he reached down and stroked Poe's dick, going at the same pace as his own thrusting.

Poe groaned again at the first touch to his cock, hips twitching toward Armitage’s hand. He tensed a little as he put pressure on his broken leg and eased up again. “Ow, ow, sorry.” He pressed his face to Hux’s shoulder and took a few deep breaths as the pain faded. He sought out Armitage’s mouth for a sweet kiss, whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I tweaked my leg.”

  
He relaxed and attempted to catch the rhythm again, everything slowly fading back to pleasure. The strokes to his cock felt good, perking him right back up. He rode waves of pleasure now, the release approaching both physical and emotional. His heart swelled and near burst with so much feeling that he barely noticed the physical delight that accompanied the sensation. He crested with a low cry and leaned into the warm arm still around him. “I love you, too,” he whispered softly into Armitage’s ear and lightly bit at the lobe.

  


Hux kissed Poe back, feeling bad for Poe and his leg as he gave him a moment to relax, not wanting him to hurt at all during this. When Poe finally relaxed, he began again, his own pleasure building rapidly. He could feel Poe getting close by the hand on his dick and the twitching around him, letting him know he was doing good and getting the man off. He moaned hard when Poe came, warmth coating his hand and Poe's stomach and the swell of happiness in his chest. It didn't take him too long after Poe, hips pressed tightly to Poe's cheeks as he came, the two of them still connected as they caught their breath. When Poe finally spoke up and pulled out slowly, maneuvering the pillows out from under him carefully before laying down next to the other man, nestling into the crook of his arm. He was tired, happy, content and more things than he had ever felt before.

  


Poe turned his face into Hux’s skin and urged him closer to rest on Poe’s chest, since he could not turn over into Hux. “You were amazing,” he murmured and kissed his cheek. “I never want to be farther from you again than we are now.” He was tired, but happier than he had been since just before their fight. He could sense the same emotions off of Armitage, and in that sense of rightness, drifted to a dreamless sleep.

  


Hux held close to Poe, his head resting on the man’s chest as they laid there. He listened to his heart beat, eyes staring off into the darkness of the room as his mind wandered. He had no idea how the events of his life had led him here, in the arms of Poe Dameron, but he wasn’t upset about it. If he had been given the opportunity to do it again with the knowledge of where he would end up....he wouldn’t change a thing. He smiled softly, hearing the light snores coming from Poe as he was pulled into sleep, knowing he was just as content as himself. For once, he allowed himself the happiness of knowing he _deserved_ this, this right here that he had. He didn’t think his past self had deserved any of this happiness, but his current who had found Poe and saved him was the only part of himself he decided deserved to live happily. He closed his eyes and nestled into the crook of Poe’s arm, letting his mind calm as he too fell into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
